The Rejects
by XFeelXTheXLoveX
Summary: They say 11 out of 100,000 teenagers commit suicide for different reasons or the same. So what will happen when 7 people out of 11 are thrown together in the attempt to make each other happy again? Will some of that 7 become part of that 11? / / WARNING:
1. The Group

**Yes, I know "I thought you weren't going to post this story until My English Love Affair was done" well, I got impatient okay. I'm really excited for this story. THAT &amp; someone ripped off My English Love Affair. They basically took Rydel &amp; Connor's situation in the story but made it with two different people and it pissed me off. So, don't expect an update from that story for a while. I'm sick of people copying ideas off my stories &amp; claiming they came up with it all by themself &amp; then getting praised for it. Like no, find your own fucking originality &amp; stop copying off mine. Fair enough if you try &amp; make it like your own,but when it's practically the same but with two different people... NO. STOP. &amp; I will be copying &amp; pasting this into the next update for MELA for the people who read that story. Like, if you wanna make a story that's inspired by mine or like it, let me know &amp; I'll help you out into making it your own or a little bit different so it's not exactly the same. I won't bite. Jesus christ. **

**Not how I wanted to start off the new story but oh well \o/**

**I hope you guys enjoy it &amp; I will be moving this out of the Austin &amp; Ally category later btw, so if you're confused... that's why.**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI &amp; Capitol Records!**

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**Title: **The Rejects

**Summery: **They say 11 out of 100,000 teenagers commit suicide for different reasons or the same. So what will happen when 7 people out of 11 are thrown together in the attempt to make each other happy again? Will some of that 7 become part of that 11? / WARNING: Might be triggering in later chapters.

**Genre: **Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy, Angst, Romance, Humour, Friendship, Family

**Starring: **Ross Lynch, Ellington Ratliff, Luke Hemmings, Ashton Irwin, Bradley Simpson, Riker Lynch, Alexa Dowd, Rydel Lynch, Michael Clifford, Jack Hemmings, Rocky Lynch, Savannah Hudson &amp; Calum Hood

**Couples: **Rosslington, Lashton/Cashton, Rocklexa

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***note: if you're wondering why I'm using Alexa &amp; Savannah, it's because I'm tired of using Laura &amp; Maia as side characters. That, and it's different.**

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**Chapter 1  
**_The Group_**  
**

Awkward?

No, that wasn't the word.

Though, there are a whole other bunch of synonyms to describe the word awkward, and a whole other bunch of sentences that could probably describe this whole atmosphere perfectly. There were seven chairs, eight if you counted Riker's, in a circle and only five of them were full. Full of five people who did not know what to say to each other, and Riker was doing his best to try and get them all to say something but if he was honest some of them looked like they didn't even want to be here, which had two different meanings, some looked like they wanted to kill someone – aka Ashton – and the other looked bored out of his mind.

There was only one girl in the circle at the moment, Savannah, so she's probably feeling that she doesn't want to be here because she's the only girl. Which is fair.

But all this awkward silence was making it depressing.

That was it. That was the word. A depressing silence.

Which is ironic because this is a support group Riker runs for depressed teenagers with all sorts of different problems. Yet, here they all are probably feeling even more depressed and have the urge to slit their wrists wide open even more. Which is not the aim Riker is looking for. The aim he's looking for, is that by the end of the next 6 months they'll all be okay again with no worries and they'll all be better, and feeling it.

Besides, maybe it might work with these set of teens (well, Ashton's only just turned 20 and Ellington is 20). They're all newish, apart from Savannah who's been here for almost 5 months now and she doesn't seem to be getting anywhere near better. Ellington joined about a month ago, Ashton joined 2 weeks ago and Brad started last week. But today they had two new people coming which were two more boys called Ross and Luke. Ross was already here and sat by Ellington, but Luke wasn't – which made Riker begin to think about if he was even coming at all.

He did decide he wanted to wait a little bit longer for Luke, but it had been 15 minutes so if he was going to show up, he would have shown up by now. After all, he does know Luke and Ross were forced to come here by people. So were the others in some way, but they were literally forced it even said on a letter he got sent by some girl called Rydel and two guys called Michael and Jack. He doesn't know who made who go.

There was another seat spare in the circle for someone else, but she wasn't here and wouldn't be until next week. Why? Because she attempted to kill herself the day after Ashton came and failed. Not that he's saying Ashton made her want to kill herself, but that's how he keeps track of how long ago it was.

"You know what," Riker said, standing up from his chair and clapping his hands together to get the attention of the ones who looked zoned out "we'll just start now, without Luke and see how it goes before he does get he—"

Riker heard the door open up from the corner of the room before he finished his sentence, and everyone's attention turned to it.

Luke did his best to try and open the door without it making a huge crash sound. He failed. Miserably. Because after he shut the door he turned around and found everyone looking at him from the circle. "Okay, how late am I?" Luke asked.

"About 15 minutes." Ellington answered from where he sat.

Luke nodded "Right, okay, sorry. Had some things to deal with. Good thing it's not school so I can't get held back. No? Okay. I'll shut up now and sit." Luke said, going over to where some boy with brown curly hair was to sit.

"No, no," Riker said, stopping Luke as he was pretty much sat on the chair "don't sit there. That's someone else's seat. Sit next to Ashton."

"Yeah, because I know who Ashton is." Luke said, referring to how he was new and didn't know who the heck any of these people were. Except for Brad and Ross, because he's pretty sure they go to his school. Not that he would know because he barely attends any more due to certain things that have occurred, but he won't go into detail about that just yet.

Ashton rolled his eyes "Which is the only other empty chair in the room?" he asked harshly.

Luke looked over to him and saw the chair. Yeah, now he felt like an idiot. But hey, someone has to lighten the mood in this depressing support group right? Not that it'll do him any good. He may look happy and seem happy right now but all he wants to do is go home or find somewhere quiet and slit his throat so he's gone forever. And he's pretty sure everyone else in the room feels the same way too.

He walked over to where this Ashton sat and sat down reluctantly next to him. He noticed how all the chairs were spread out pretty far from each other, making them about 1 or 2 metres away from each other. But for some reason his and Ashton's was like a ruler away from each other. Luke was about to move his chair a little bit away from Ashton, because to be quite honest he felt a little intimidated by him, but then Riker started talking. At least that's what he thinks his name his, he doesn't know he wasn't really paying attention when Jack and Michael were telling him about this place.

"Right, okay, as I was going to say," Riker said, trailing off a little "I know two of you are new here and some of you are fairly new and some of you have been here for a while. But welcome. This is as about as lively as it's going to get, unless you get to know each other then that way it becomes more fun and I hate to make it sound like a frickin' play school for children but unfortunately it's true. But once you get to know each other a little bit more we'll take it from there," he looked around the group, seeing blank facial expressions, depressed ones or some looking down because they didn't want to look up at everyone (aka Ross). "So let's get started then. Who would like to go first?"

Luke slowly raised his hand. "Ah, okay. Wasn't expecting that. But sure, go ahead." Riker said.

Luke put his hand back down "N-no, I didn't want to go first... but er... you said someone else was supposed to be here so why are we starting without them?" Luke asked, referring to the empty seat next to Brad.

"That's Alexa's seat. She tried to kill herself after Ashton came," Ellington said, answering on behalf of Riker "she comes back next week apparently."

"Fair enough."

Riker folded his arms and turned to Ellington. He sighed "Alright loud mouth, how about we go around the circle and you go first?" Riker asked, giving him a small sarcastic smile.

Ellington threw Riker a small glare and turned to everyone as he stood up "Well then, hi. I'm Ellington Ratliff for those who didn't know, I.E the blonde sat next to me, was it Ross? And the guy with the quiff the size of the World Trade centre," Ellington said, making Riker wish he never even put him up to introducing himself first "so that's only, like... two people who didn't know me who I could have introduced myself to in my own time without having to re-introduce myself to Ashton, Brad and Savannah," he sighed "anyway, yeah. My names Ellington Ratliff. Call me Ellington, or Ell, or Ratliff. Which ever you like better, I don't care. Heck, even call me Lee it's my middle name. Actually, don't call me Lee I hate being called by my middle name. And my middle name in general. Whatever. But, yeah. Why am I here?" he shrugged "I don't like being at home because it depresses me. You try living with two parents who constantly fight and ignore you like it's your fault because of your choices which aren't really big and shouldn't affect them that much. It's kinda depressing," he looked around the circle, seeing Ashton's usual eye brows raised and 'oh wow who gives a fuck' kind of look. "So yeah, that's all." Ellington sat back down, he turned to Ross "Your turn blondie."

Ross felt uneasy by the way Ellington was looking at him and with everyone else looking at him. He glanced up a little, but didn't bother to stand up like Ellington did. "Er... my names Ross."

"I think I can hear the mouse that lives under the floor boards better than you, speak up." Ellington said, only to receive a funny look off everyone else but Savannah.

Ross took a deep breath "I said my names Ross. Is that better for you?" Ross asked, snapping. He felt bad about it afterwards, feeling nervous as to what Ellington's reaction was going to be towards him. It was bad enough he seemed like a real cocky and sarcastic person, so he dreads to think what he would be like when someone acts the same back or is horrible to him.

"Leave him alone," Riker said, stopping Ellington as he went to go say something else to him "why are you here, Ross?" Riker asked, being more caring than Ellington was. He could tell he was nervous and scared, and it wasn't really hard to figure out why he was here.

"My sister made me come here." Ross mumbled, not wanting to speak any louder. He even started playing with his hands out of nerves.

Everyone else in the room was only just able to make out what he said. They all wished he would speak louder, but didn't bother to say anything. They'd only contribute more to his obvious depression and anxiety issue. "Yeah, that's part of the reason why you're here. What's the actual reason?" Ellington asked.

Brad rolled his eyes "Alright, back off. Leave him alone. It's obvious why he's here. Lets just move on." he said, having enough of Ellington and he'd only been here a week.

Ellington held up his hands in defence and slouched in his chair. Ross gave a small nervous smile to Brad as if to say 'thank you' and quickly looked away again. Riker sighed "Alright, Brad. Your turn." Riker said, running his hand through his hair as he felt stressed already.

"What's the point? You've already introduced me, it's Ashton's turn." Brad said, not really wanting to introduce himself after what just happened with Ross and Ellington. He didn't fancy being commented on as he spoke.

Riker went to go say something but was cut off by Ashton's voice. "Why thanks Brad," Ashton said with a sarcastic smile "now that I've been introduced maybe now Savannah can introduce herself and the other newbie can introduce himself. Oh, wait! Done. No need any more."

Riker groaned, flinging his head back a bit. Ellington, Brad and Ashton were making life more difficult for him. Especially when he's got a newbie who's nervous about everything around him, another newbie and a girl who won't talk because she's too depressed. Having loud mouths around like Ellington, Brad and Ash were not a good match for the other three. And if Alexa was here she would have sorted them all out by now. But no.

He rubbed his eyes "Alright, how do you all wanna do this? Do you just wanna get to know each other in pairs and make life a little more easier for me and yourself or do you wanna do it as a six?" Riker asked. Everyone silenced, looking around awkwardly. "You know what, I'll make life easier. If you're Ellington, Brad and Ashton talk to the person on your right." he turned back round and sat back in his chair.

Brad turned his head and saw the empty chair sat next to him, and passed that empty chair was Ashton. But to Ashton's right was Luke. Which meant Brad was on his own. That wasn't much of a surprise to him though. He's always alone. Even when it comes to friends, family and school. He's always been the outcast. He sighed and shut his eyes.

There goes his depression kicking in for the 100th time this week and it's only Wednesday.

Ellington dragged his chair and got closer to Ross as their chairs were about a metre apart, and he made Ross nervous by the way he had gotten closer. Ellington sat comfortably on the chair and smiled at him nicely as you could hear very small and quiet talking from Luke and Ashton, and also Savannah who had moved over to Brad "So, what's a pretty face like yours really doing here?" Ellington asked.

"Ellington." Riker said, warningly.

"What?!" Ellington asked, his voice raising in pitch "I'm being nice!" he said, making Riker roll his eyes. Ellington faced Ross again and smiled "I repeat the question. What's a pretty face like yours doing here?" he asked "by the looks of you, you look like you should be elsewhere getting laid by some hot girl. Or guy. I don't know what you're into."

Riker shut his eyes and shook his head slowly at Ellington. Why did he suggest for poor Ross to sit next to him when he first arrived?

Ross sighed shutting his head, keeping his eyes on the floor as he felt his heart beginning to beat even more from nerves "Thanks, but I'm not gay."

"That's cool, neither am I." Ellington said with a small shrug.

Ross stared at him confused "But... you just flirted with me."

"Clearly you've never heard of bisexuals."

Riker put his head into his hands and shook his head, deciding to lose focus in Ross and Ellington's conversation as he couldn't bare to listen to Ross getting flirted with and not being able to do anything about it. So he decided to listen in on Luke and Ashton's conversation, Savannah and Brad already knew each other and they were nice so he didn't have to make sure if Savannah was going to be hopelessly flirted with or if Brad was going to get killed by Savannah.

Luke felt a little bit awkward being thrown into a conversation with someone who he had never met or spoken to in his entire life, and Ashton felt the same. Ashton had only been here for two weeks and he didn't speak to anybody really, he didn't connect with anybody. He had the strangest feeling he wouldn't with Luke either. But hey, the quicker he gets this over and done with the quicker he gets to go home, be depressed and all the other things he has been doing ever since he became like this. "So," Ashton said, turning his head to Luke "what's your name?" he asked.

"Luke. What's yours?" He asked stupidly, even though he already knew it. But hey, anything to make conversation right?

"Ashton," He replied nearly straight away "so tell me. Were you forced to come here by someone or did you come of your own free will?" he asked.

Luke shrugged "I was forced to come by my friend Michael and my older brother Jack. They felt I needed too before they came home one day and found me hanging from the ceiling. Which I did try to do one time, but you know, I kinda fell over and woke everyone up before I even got a chance to put the noose around my neck."

Ashton nodded "Fair enough. Don't fall over when trying to hang yourself. I'll remember that the next time I want to kill myself which will probably be somewhere between the next..." he looked to the ceiling for a moment thoughtfully "hour."

"Will you actually kill yourself though?"

"I don't think so... I'm scared too. You know, in case I fail and it hurts like a bitch."

"Who says you'll fail?" Luke asked, Ashton turned to him and gave him a funny look. Luke's eyes widened when he realised how that sounded "Oh no, no! That wasn't meant to sound encouraging! Oh no, no! Please don't! If anything if you did try to kill yourself, I'd want you to fail so you'd still be alive, I mean who wants someone to kill them self for? You know what, I'm just gonna shut up." Luke said, turning away from Ashton and putting his head into his hands in embarrassment.

Ashton sighed heavily and shook his head, being able to tell already that Luke wasn't very good with words. After a few seconds, Luke lifted up his head "Hey, I'm Luke. I'm an idiot sometimes when I speak so just ignore me, it's nice to meet you. I'm taking it your names Ashton. You look like an Ashton." Luke said, restarting the whole introductory thing all over again.

Ashton laughed softly "Hi. I'm taking it you're here because your brother and friend forced you too?" Ashton asked, Luke nodded "may I ask what caused you to be depressed to have made them make you come here?"

Luke frowned and shook his head "No. I don't feel comfortable sharing that with you. Not yet anyway."

Ashton nodded "Fair enough. It's nice that you have two people in your life that care about you deeply though, that helps a heck of a lot with people like you and me."

Luke cocked his head a little bit "Why? Don't you have anybody that loves you in your life that cares? Like, friends... family. Or a girlfriend maybe." he said, again realising how insensitive that sounded.

Even when he tried to reintroduce himself, he sounded like a prick. Ashton glared at Luke slightly "Yeah, actually I do," Ashton said, suddenly getting harsher after trying to be nice. But after being insulted twice, basically, it kinda takes the kindness away from you. "I had a boyfriend called Calum. But he died like 2 months ago though in a car accident, so he's really letting me down lately."

Luke nodded, getting the answer to his first idiotic question and the follow up question which would have been 'what made you depressed?'. He grabbed the bottom of his chair and moved away from Ashton, feeling the tension coming off him after pissing him off.

Already, Riker could sense the next 6 months were going to be a blast.

Not.

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**Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter &amp; sorry to start this story off with a pissed authors note :) I'll try make the future ones happier ;)**

**Please review &amp; let me know what you think :D **


	2. Life Problems

**Sorry for the wait on the update. Just, personal things going on, school, etc. It's really making me lose energy to write lately to the point where I want to quite. But I won't. The updates will just come slower. I guess it's better than not updating at all, right?**

**I know some of you find this story funny bc of what happened with the last chapter, but honestly it's not meant to be a funny story. It's supposed to be dealing with serious issues that teenagers actually go through including myself. Sure, I'll add the funny bit here and there bc I like a bit of humour to my stories as well as keeping them dark, dramatic &amp; tragic (lol that rhymed). So yeah. Thought I'd let you know.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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**Guest Account Replies:**

**Guest: **I'd tell you the name of the story, but you're not logged into your account haha. &amp; I don't fancy having to post it on here in case they see even though they already know bc I called them out haha.

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**Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI &amp; Capitol Records!**

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**Chapter 2  
**_Life Problems_**  
**

When the support group had finally finished, everyone was more than relieved.

Even Riker himself was and he use to enjoy doing this more than anything. But, you know... After running a support group for more than three years and having teenagers who stay for only six months, who you get close too, and in the end they either leave because they got better (which rarely seems to happen here), left because they were moving away from LA or they killed themselves because no matter what Riker did it just wouldn't help them. And after a while of doing and putting up with that, it gets boring and depressing after a while.

But this group of people, Ross, Brad, Ellington, Ashton, Luke, Savannah and Alexa, seem like fixable people.

He knows that he's said that about previous people who have gone and killed themselves, but all you have to do is look at their situation and think of simple ways to fix it.

Lets start with Ellington.

He's got problems at home with his parents because they keep on fighting and he gets ignored by them for the majority of the time like it's his fault. He is old enough to move out and get his own place, but he's too scared to incase his parents forget about him completely. But he doesn't have many friends, and even the friends he does have they'll always pick someone else over him. He's basically like the rebound if any of his friends fall out with one another. And all he has to do is find the right friends and right people that will hopefully make him happy and motivate him to do stuff without being scared of his parents reactions – or he could just knock his parents into some sense, it would be far more easier.

Riker would describe other people's situations, but he can only describe Ellington and Ashton's and find solutions to fixing them. As for Brad, Ross and Luke, he has yet to find solutions for them as well as find out more about what's wrong with them. It's going to be more difficult with Luke because when he got sent the paper from whoever it was that sent it for Luke, they didn't put down his reasons for being depressed they said just to go easy on him and he might open up. _Might_.

Because apparently it took him a very long time to open up to his friend Michael.

Ashton's situation is probably the easiest to fix out of everyone. It has to be.

2 months ago someone he loved very, very, very much died in a car crash, and Ashton blames himself for it even though he wasn't actually in the car with Calum when it happened. Apparently, they had been dating since they were about 16 or 17 – and Ashton's 20 now, so that is a very long and good time. Riker can understand why he's so upset and broken about it. But Riker's solution, like everyone else's, is to find the right person for him that will make him forget about what happened 2 months ago, get over it and go back to being the happy and cheery Ashton he was before all that.

At least that's what his Mom said he was like when Riker met her.

Riker doesn't think Ashton will be here for the whole 6 months, he reckons that Ashton will find someone to move on with or find someone who will help him forget about Calum and he'll be out of here and better in no time. Riker gives it about, 4 months at the most. 3 at the least.

But hey, time can only tell. Riker doesn't have a crystal ball he can look into and see what the future holds for each and every individual that sits in this room. He wishes he did. That way he could save himself from whatever heartbreak he would have to witness between these people in the next few months.

When the group had finished, Ross hung back a little bit whilst everyone else left. Once everyone was out the door he left slowly, walking behind them as they all walked down the hallway. They weren't walking or talking together. The only people who were talking were Ellington and Ashton but they weren't talking a whole lot, they were just asking how one another was getting home. Luke and Brad were being anti-social towards them.

Though Ross is basically being anti-social now by choosing not to walk with them.

But it's not his fault. Having an anxiety disorder makes you really uncomfortable and scared around people, no matter how big the group of people. It could be two people and he would be cowering like a dog in the corner. That anxiety makes him depressed too so that doesn't help. He doesn't even know when it started. One minute he was happy with his friends and boom. Here he is now. An anti-social freak who's only wish is to die basically. And if it wasn't for his sister Rydel being around, he probably would have been dead by now.

When Ross got outside he expected to see them all leaving the car parking lot of this place in some direction, but they weren't. They were stood outside like they were waiting on something. Ross looked around nervously for Rydel to see if she was anywhere in the car park to pick him up, but he couldn't see her. Ross sighed as he knew this meant he had to wait on his own.

He glanced over to where they were stood and went over to the bench that was a short distance away and sat on it. He lifted up his head and discretely watched as Ashton left and Ellington going over to his car and getting into it. Ellington threw Ross a smile as he done so which left Ross feeling uncomfortable, so he looked away so that Ellington couldn't see him. He waited till he heard Ellington's car drive off before he looked up, seeing Savannah leaving too.

Which meant Brad and Luke were still here somewhere, or they had gone and Ross hadn't noticed.

Ross looked up to see if Rydel had pulled up or was coming into the car park, but he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Luke in front of him looking down at him. "Don't you go to my school?" Luke asked, slightly suspicious.

Ross knew that he, Luke and Brad went to the same school as each other (and he was definitely not expecting them to be here) because he's seen them around. But he hardly see's Luke around because he doesn't bother to show up half the time, which probably has something to do with his 'depression'. Ross shrugged and looked down again, pretending to play on his phone as he took it out of his pocket "I-I don't know..." Ross said nervously.

"We do. I know we do. You probably don't know because I'm never there," Luke said, still looking down at him. He knew fine well Ross was pretending to play on his phone to avoid a conversation with him. Luke coughed to try get his attention so he would look up "Or maybe it's because you're always hiding and cowering in the corner away from everyone when I'm there," Luke said harshly, starting to get annoyed that Ross wasn't engaging in any conversation what so ever "dude, I know you're pretending to play on your phone. Put it away."

Ross sighed and put his phone back into his pocket and looked back up at Luke, not saying a word to him. Luke smiled in satisfaction a little bit "That's better. Don't act scared with me. It's not like I'm going to tell people from school you're here. I barely talk to anybody at school, and even if I did tell people they'd connect the dots and figure out that I go here too and I'd get questioned and well... you get my point," Luke explained with a sigh "yeah. It wasn't my choice to come here. I was forced to by my brother and my best friend. My only friend, really. I'm taking it you were forced, too?" he asked.

Ross nodded. Luke rolled his eyes "You can talk you know. It won't hurt. I know I sound insensitive towards you when I shouldn't but..." Luke shrugged "so, who were you forced by?" he asked.

"My sister. She was supposed to be here to pick me up but, she's not..."

"Was she that worried about you that she sent you here?" Luke asked, Ross nodded "eh, same here. Except with Jack and Michael. They were deeply concerned—but whatever, I won't go into detail. It's not exactly something you wanna hear."

Ross went to go say something but stopped, Luke noticed and stood there waiting for him to say what he was going to say. "I... I heard you talking to Ashton, if that's his name..." Ross said, reluctantly, nervously and quietly "I heard you tried to kill yourself but got caught."

Luke lifted his hands like he was weighing something out "Getting caught, failed attempt... same thing." he dropped his arms down to his side.

"Is what you're going through that bad?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well... I'm sorry. I won't ask you what's it's about just... I'm sorry for you having to go through whatever you're going through. Whatever you get my point." Ross said, putting his head into his hands. He fucked that up. At least he thinks he did.

Luke nodded "Yeah, everyone is who knows about it," he said, becoming sadder suddenly and swinging his arms a little bit "but it doesn't matter. I'll see you next week. Probably." he didn't say anything else to Ross, he gave him a small smile and quickly walked off.

Ross watched as Luke walked off, not being quite sure of what was exactly wrong with Luke and why he is depressed. He had a couple of ideas, but he thinks they're way off. Maybe. He looked back in front of him where he saw Rydel's car parked up and she had her window rolled down, looking at him. Ross sighed and walked over to the car, getting in at the passenger side.

Rydel turned her head from the window seconds after Ross had gotten into the car "Who was that?" Rydel asked, with a smile on her face and gently.

Ross shrugged, putting on his seat belt "Some guy from my school called Luke," Ross told her "he's never at school. I was surprised he was there. There's someone else from our school there too, Brad he's called. But yeah. I'll explain more when I get home." he said to her. Rydel is the only person he can actually talk to without being nervous or scared. She's the only person he can be himself around. He can barely be himself around his parents.

Rydel pulled away from the car park and started to drive home "So, are they new friends? I mean, I'm taking it you made new friends. Did you?" Rydel asked, starting to bomb bard him with questions. She didn't mean to. It was just she wanted her baby brother to be happy again and have friends that were nice to him and he could rely on. Unlike others that he's had in the past.

Again Ross shrugged "I don't know. They're mainly guys in there. There's two girls but one of them's not there because apparently she tried to kill herself. That would be Alexa. Savannah's the girl who was there today. Ashton... seems like... I don't know. He seems nice. But he's been through a lot as I over heard. Brad, I haven't really talked too.. Luke seems okay I suppose. Savannah does too. But there's another guy called Ellington and he makes me feel really uncomfortable."

"What do you mean? Do I have to turn this car around and go kick his ass?" Rydel asked, starting to feel slightly protective – which is something she had been doing a lot lately.

"Calm down Rydel, he isn't being mean. He's just... he's bi sexual... and... he kinda started flirting with me and... I didn't know what to do but sit there like a duck."

Rydel smiled "Awe. That's sweet. Is he attractive?"

"Rydel! I'm not gay! I'm not bi! I'm straight."

Rydel shrugged "Alright, I'm only asking. But don't think this is over. We will talk more about this when we get home."

"Trust me, I know."

Lonely wasn't even the word to describe his feelings every time he came back to the apartment.

For 2 months now ever since Ashton had been going out and coming home to what use to be his and Calum's apartment, he'd walk through the door and expect him to be sat watching TV, passed out on the couch or passed out in bed. Or just in the apartment doing something like he usually did. But no.

He would walk in and it would be complete silence. Nothing. The only noise you would be able to hear is the footsteps on the hallway of people walking about. Nothing more. Unless Ashton hadn't switched off the taps properly and they were dripping. But even when the taps were dripping Ashton would get his hopes up too much that he was imagining things and Calum wasn't really dead.

It sucked and hurt so much.

And if it wasn't for the fact his Mom and Lauren, his sister, came round almost every day to check on him and make sure he's okay and doing fine – Ashton would have really let himself go by now, the place would be a mess and he probably would have hung himself off the nearest tree. Or swallowed a bottle or 2 of pills, just so he could be with Calum again.

He'd be lying if he said he hasn't tried. He tried an overdose on pills but he ended up throwing them up which was basically someone's way, Calum, of saying _Nope_. That, and Lauren kinda caught him and with her being younger than he is she told his Mom and well... That's why he ended up in that support group.

One day though. One day that failed attempt might not be a failed attempt.

When he got into the apartment he went straight into the bedroom he use to share with Calum. Ashton collapsed onto the bed and sighed. He wasn't even lying correctly on the bed, he just fell into the middle of it and decided to lay across it. Because what's the point of doing anything right any more when nothing is going right?

Wow he's a mess.

Ashton sighed and looked over to the bedside table where there was a photo frame facing down so you couldn't see the picture. He lifted himself up on the bed a little and grabbed it, taking a look to see it was a picture of him and Calum from about a year ago. He smiled a little looking down at it, remembering how happy and perfect everything was back then. He stroked the glass on the photo frame of it for a little while, staring at it, before tears started to form in his eyes "I'm sorry," he whispered, beginning to hug the picture "I'm so sorry." he whispered again, this time with tears falling.

Luke decided to take the long way home _(a/n: lol accidental puns)_ after leaving the support group, as he didn't really want to go home. Sure, there was nothing bad awaiting him at home. After all, he lived with a very loving and caring brother along with his best friend Michael after Jack had decided it would be a good idea if Michael would live them as well just so it's more support for Luke as he's the only other person in the world who knows everything about him pretty much.

He just didn't want to go home because he didn't want to be suffocated with questions from them both about how he's been feeling today, if everything went okay etc, etc. Don't get him wrong he loves them both to pieces and he appreciates everything they've done for him, but lately he's been getting so stressed out.

And it's only been 3 months ever since what he was going through stopped happening for good. But it still haunts him and follows him everywhere he goes which isn't nice. The poor guy has nightmares about it every night. That's not normal for an 18 year-old.

Is it?

He stood outside the door of the house they lived in and stared at it for a moment. He had his sleeves pulled over his hands because it was cold, and it was a really bad habit he was making. Luke pushed the door open, deciding not to put off going inside any longer, and shut it when he got inside. He knew that Jack and Michael were both there stood behind him as he faced the door, but he didn't want to turn round and face them.

It was like as soon as he stepped inside this house he became an angry, irritated, emotional (mainly that) wreck. He breathed deeply. "Luke..?" Jack asked, calmly and gently "are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Luke said, obviously on the urge of breaking down emotionally or angrily. And also lying. He was not okay. He was far from okay and they knew that.

"How did today go? Was it okay? Did it help?" Michael asked, trying to be gentle too. But sometimes he could say the wrong thing and it would set Luke off. But hey, that's Michael Clifford for you ladies and gentlemen.

Luke came off the door and turned around, facing them "No. It did not help. It's not going to help no matter how many times you want to send me to the place." Luke said, his voice starting to shake with sadness a little. He didn't know if he was going to be angry or cry. Maybe he was going to do both.

"Hey, we only made you go for your own good. We don't want you trying to hang yourself again." Jack said.

Luke shrugged "Do it. Let me do it," he said, making his way towards the stairs as his voice completely broke "least that's one less person in the world you have to worry about."

Michael reached out for his arm to try get him back so that he could talk to him nicely in some way or give him comfort before he broke down for the 5th time this week (baring in mind it's only Wednesday) "Luke—"

Luke pushed Michael away from him as soon as he touched his arm "Don't fucking touch me." he snapped before running upstairs and slamming his bedroom door shut.

Once he slammed his bedroom door he slid down it and put his head between his knees, beginning to cry. Why him for? Why couldn't this have happened continuously to somebody else? Why him?

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**Hope you enjoyed this :)**

**I don't know how interested you guys are with Calum &amp; Ashton, so... I don't know if you want any flashbacks of them or what. Do you? I mean, I don't mind doing them I have a couple of ideas. I just wanna know how interested you are to know more about Calum himself as well as Cashton. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**PLEASE review! :D**


	3. School

**PLEASE READ THE A/N AT THE END.**

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**I know I should be updating the final chapter of My English Love Affair, but eh. I have half of it written but have no idea how to get to the end of it omfg. it's so stressful jesus christ. **

**But yeah, today was eventful. I went out to a pub (bar) for tea (dinner) &amp; they started playing Amnesia &amp; I was like "ok, no surprise there Amnesia's a popular song" but THEN AFTERWARDS they started playing "English Love Affair" and i was NOT prepared oh my god. I think it was a hint or a sign telling me to update bc straight after they played "Loud" by R5. The Vamps never came on though. If they did I would have screamed haha.**

**I am currently in the middle of making a video for this story like I have done for Fix You, The New Yesterday &amp; The Last Judgement so I'll let you know when it's up. But I might end up making two videos for this story bc the video I'm currently making shows it more from Luke &amp; Ashton's point of view rather than Ross, Ellington &amp; Brad's. So i might make another &amp; show it more from their POV's, but it's really hard with Brad bc I don't have any good clips of him that would suit this story. I mean I'm fine for Cashton, Rosslington &amp; Lashton clips. But whatever, you get my point lol.**

**Anyway, I'll shut up &amp; let you get on reading.**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI &amp; Capitol Records!**

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**Chapter 3  
**_School_**  
**

"Luke..?"

Luke fluttered his eyes open and moved slightly when he heard Jack's voice and felt himself being shaken gently. He rubbed his eyes and saw it was a little bit dark outside, but the sun was coming up which meant it was early in the morning. "I know this is a stupid question and I get the same answer every morning, but are you going to school today?" Jack asked, knowing the answer was already going to be a no.

Luke sighed and looked out the window of his bedroom again. "N—yeah, I am."

Jack nodded, getting off the bed "Right, okay, just go back to sle—wait, what?" He asked, replaying what Luke had just said in his head. He actually wanted to go to school today? Well there's a first. "Are you okay, Luke?" Jack asked.

"Right now? Yes. In general? No. Emotionally? No." Luke said, sat up in his bed. He then threw the covers off him and got out of his bed to get showered and dressed. "Oh my god, it's cold. Screw that I'm going back to sleep." Luke said, going back to climb back into bed but was stopped by Jack.

Jack shook his head "Hell no, you want to go to school. And you're going before I end up with more phone calls asking why you won't go in. And the only way those phone calls are going to stop is if you go in or I tell them why and ma—"

"No," Luke snapped, turning his head round to Jack as he got some clothes out of his drawers "don't you fucking dare tell them why. I won't forgive you."

Jack put his hands up in defence "Alright, I won't. It's just if I do, I can make sure they keep it confidential and that they can help you I guess."

"Oh, yeah a school is going to be able to help me. I bet there's only like 3 students, including me, going through what I've only just finished going through!" Luke said, beginning to yell "but it still feels like I'm going through it you know and it's not fair! I didn't do anything to deserve it and neither did Ben, but it's too late for him isn't it because now he's six foot under!" Luke yelled before he started crying with his head in his hands "and it's all my fault."

Ben was Luke's other older brother, he was the middle child, but unfortunately he died a year ago. Luke doesn't really like thinking about it as he feels as though it's his fault he died because he could have done something. Like Luke could have taken his place. Luke could have been there at the time it happened instead of coming home and finding his dead body on the floor in his bedroom. No, Ben did not kill himself. He was killed by someone else. Someone else who Luke does not like to think about and he is glad that person is gone forever. But unfortunately they're not dead, which is fortunate because Luke doesn't want Ben to be near them ever again.

Luke wiped his eyes and shook his head to try and get himself to stop crying as Jack came over and wrapped his arms around him for a hug. Michael walked into the bedroom at the time. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I'm sure if it was the other way around Ben would feel the same way. You couldn't have done anything. If anything it's my fault, I shouldn't have gone away for so long and none of this would have happened. I could have came back, got you and Ben and left before anything bad happened. So if you want to blame someone, blame me okay?" Jack explained, trying to comfort him.

Michael rubbed his eyes "Am I dreaming or is Luke actually up for school?" He asked.

Luke looked over to the door where Michael was pretty much dressed for school, all he needed was his shoes on. "Y-yeah, I'm coming today," Luke said, pulling away from Jack and quickly wiping his eyes with his hands "can I get changed please without an audience?"

"Yeah, sure, sorry, c'mon Mike." Jack said, quickly going over to the door.

The halls in school were crowded. At least to Ross it felt like it. For some reason he felt worse than he ever had done today, and nothing bad had even happened. He was at his locker and every time a group of people walked by, who weren't even paying attention to him, he'd feel nervous and like they were watching him. How he ended up like this, he'll never know.

As he was taking something out of his locker, he heard something – or someone – crash into the side of the locker next to him. Ross shut his locker door so that he could see where he saw Brad leant against it like he was in pain. Ross turned around and saw two boys walking off, laughing, who had clearly threw him into the locker. "A-are you okay?" Ross asked, nervously and quietly.

Brad turned his head when he heard someone ask that, as he's not quite use to people asking him if he's okay after people throw him into things, trip him up, hit him etc.. They normally stand there, let it happen, watch, laugh or look on in sympathy and never do anything. He stood up straight from the locker and moved his shoulder around, as it hurt a little "Yeah... my shoulder hurts that's all."

Ross nodded, shutting his locker. "Aren't you the blonde one from the support group?" Brad asked, looking at him suspiciously "was it Ross..?" he asked, Ross nodded "Oh, good. Glad I found you."

"Why..?"

"Because," Brad said, going into his jacket pocket where he pulled out a piece of paper "I bumped into someone this morning. He told me to give you this." he handed him the piece of paper.

Ross took it from him reluctantly.

"Are you two sharing love notes?"

Ross and Brad turned their heads to the voice who said that, where they saw Luke standing in front of them. Honestly, they didn't know if they were relieved it was someone who they knew wouldn't spread something or that they were shocked Luke was actually in school for a change. "No, I was just giving him something from someone. I'm not gay unlike you." Brad said, shrugging his backpack onto his shoulder properly.

"I'm not gay you fucking faggot." Luke snapped, shoving Brad so that he crashed against the locker.

"Alright, it was a fucking joke, Jesus Christ!" Brad rubbed his back as yet again he was in pain.

All the while Luke and Brad had that little collision together, Ross had opened up the piece of paper and read who it was from and what they wanted and why the hell they would give it to Brad.

_Okay, I know, a weird way of getting in touch with you, but you know I don't have your number and I'm not willing to wait till next week to see you._

Ellington.

_All I'm saying is that, I think you're attractive, you ARE attractive and we should talk more and maybe hang out before support group. That's if you're up for it. I mean, I hope you are... otherwise a 20 year old's just been turned down by an 18 year old. You are 18, aren't you? Cos I don't want to be arrested for being a paedophile. I mean, I suppose if you're 17 you'll be turning 18 soon. Right? Oh god, please tell me you're 18._

_But yeah, call or text me when you can here's my number._

_\- Ellington (from support group in case you've forgot)_

Ross laughed and smiled a little at some points in the note. He looked to the bottom where Ellington's number was. "Why are you smiling?" Brad asked "is what he wrote that good, cos I thought he was honestly a bit of a douche yesterday."

Ross looked up and shrugged, quickly stuffing the note into his pocket "Er, no he's just... yeah. I don't know. Trying to talk to me. I mean, you probably already read it out of curiosity." he said, quickly picking up his bag up off the floor.

"Actually I never, I respect people's privacy."

"So," Luke said, breaking the 5 second silence that fell over them all "what are you both doing at lunch? Because my friend Michael has to stay in for a teacher, so... I'll be on my own. I mean, is it okay if I stay with one of you? I know we only just met yesterday but... you're the only people I know really besides from Michael. Not that you know who Michael is. But if it helps, he's the guy who could have his own movie and it would be called '50 Shades of Hair Dye'."

"Oh, I know him." Brad said.

"Yeah, I've seen him around." Ross added quietly.

Luke cocked his head slightly "You're so quiet," Luke said, directing it at Ross "not that I have a problem with it. I can understand why you are. But whatever. Don't we have lessons together?" Luke asked, not being sure as he heard the bell go off.

Ross nodded, tempted to say something like _'yeah, we do when you're here' _but decided against it because he didn't want to get punched for it. "Great. At least I know someone. What do we have now?" he asked as they slowly began to walk down the hallway "Bye Brad." Luke waved to him as he was going in a different direction to them. Brad waved back and turned around to go to his lesson.

"Um, sociology **(1)**."

"Oh, last time I had that was a few weeks ago and we were doing something about racism. What are we doing now?" Luke asked as they were approaching the open classroom door.

Ross shrugged "Not sure. I think Miss said something about starting on domestic violence or child abuse. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention."

Luke nodded, not giving an answer to it as they were walking into the classroom and they know that teacher likes to have silence when people come into the classroom. Though, Luke is really surprised that he remembered given that it has been a while since he was here. As soon as Luke walked into the classroom after Ross a few people stared at him like they were shocked to see him, including the teacher. "Oh, Luke Hemmings," The teacher said in surprise with a smile on her face "what a lovely surprise to see you. You actually decided to come to school today."

Luke rolled his eyes "Whatever." he mumbled, sitting at his desk which was next to Ross's fortunately for him.

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**I know it's short, but I've had this written since yesterday bc I wanted to add something else at the end but i couldn't figure out how to write it so I'm gonna have to wait for the next chapter or a later chapter.**

**PLEASE READ: I know you all said you want Cashton flashbacks, but I don't know what YOU want to see. So could you PLEASE put some suggestions for me other than "fluff". Thanks.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! :D**

**(1) - I'm not sure if in America students study Sociology or not... but hey, if you guys have another name for it let me know.**


	4. Ashton & Calum

**Sorry for leaving this story for so long! I've finally finished My English Love Affair &amp; I'm trying to finish Five Nights At Freddy's bc it's a Halloween themed story &amp; there's only 8 chapters &amp; it's longer than that &amp; today's Halloween, and I'm trying to get it out of the way so we're not at Christmas &amp; the stories still going on bc that's the wrong type of story to be out then lol**

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****Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds Of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI &amp; Capitol Records!****

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**Chapter 4  
**_Ashton &amp; Calum_**  
**

The next support group session came around pretty quickly, and was held after school hours so that Ross, Luke, Brad and Savannah could attend without it being just Ashton and Ellington in one room. Riker feels that if Ashton and Ellington only attended, he'd be sat listening to them having a sarcastic conversation with each other.

It's not that Ellington and Ashton don't like each other, it's just... they're not really in the mood for one another. Ashton and Ellington can be both pretty sassy and sarcastic, and some times Ellington does go a little bit too far sometimes so Riker can kinda see why Ashton doesn't put up with it.

Today, Riker decided he wasn't going to do the whole get everyone in a circle thing. He was just going to talk to them one by one to figure out what was really wrong with them and how he could help them. But unless you were Ashton, Ellington, Brad, Savannah and Alexa he was just going to see how he could help them out more.

Alexa was coming back today, he wasn't sure at what time though. Everyone else was here and he was in a room by himself with Ashton, talking to him about things. His problems, Calum, family, other things etc. Stuff like that. Riker thought it was best to talk to Ashton about happy things, rather than let him dwell on the sad things. "So, what did you do today?" Riker asked, he had a notepad in front of him so he could take notes down on everyone. Just so he had an outline of everyone and could remember.

Ashton shrugged, slouching in the chair he was in "Nothing much... my Mom came round with my sister and brother. They stayed for about an hour and left. That was this morning at about 11." he said.

"Did you do anything after your Mom and siblings left?" Riker asked, Ashton shook his head "don't you have any friends to hang around with?"

"Well, I did. I had a few, but only one close one. He was mine and Calum's friend, we've known him since we were eight years old after he moved from Ireland. He was always closer to Calum, but you could say he was pretty close to me. In a way, he kinda got us together. In fact, now that I think about it... he did. He was sneaky about it, I'll give him that." Ashton said, starting to think about that day when his friend got him and Calum together.

And now that he thinks about it, it was very sneaky and he can imagine him now sat at his house smirking over it because he knew it was going to happen.

"Where is he now? How come you don't see him any more?" Riker asked.

"After Calum died, we kinda drifted apart. I still see him around sometimes, and we talk... but only for a few minutes and then it's like we never spoke at all..." Ashton said, beginning to frown.

"What's he called?"

"Niall."

Riker nodded, quickly scribbling it down on the notepad. He looked back up again and stared at Ashton "You know, Ashton... you've never really told me much about Calum. All I know is that you were both in a relationship since you were 16, or 15, and he died a couple months ago... Would you care to tell me more about him without getting upset?" Riker asked, gently.

"I-I don't know what to tell you... Other than he was nice. Really nice."

Riker thought about it for a moment "Well... how did you get together? I know you said that Niall got you both together, but how?" he asked, seeing a small smile begin pop up on Ashton's face as he thought about it. Riker smiled a little too "Was it funny how he got you together?" Riker asked.

Ashton nodded "Now that I think about it yeah... I know you'll laugh too." Ashton let out a small laugh after.

"Go on, tell me."

"Well, it was Niall's 16th birthday..."

_Normally when you're 16, and you're having a party, it doesn't involve alcohol._

_But then again, Niall wasn't exactly your average 16 year old so you could expect the unexpected at his parties and when he was around. Of course the party was thrown at his house, and half the people that were here were already sat on their ass from too much alcohol._

_Lightweights. That's what Niall calls them._

_Or maybe it's just cos he's from Ireland and that is the drinking capital for beer. Well, Guinness. Same thing, really._

_Niall made his way through the crowd of people who were in his way and draped both his arms around Ashton and Calum when he finally got to them "Hey, guys," Niall said, looking between them both "so, Cal pal," he patted him on the chest after taking his other arm from round Ashton "have you told him yet?" Niall asked._

"_Fuck off Niall." Calum said, less than amused and taking another drink of the bottle of cider he had in his hand that Niall had given him earlier._

_Ashton glanced at them both, confused "Told me what?" Ashton asked._

_Niall looked at Ashton "That he's gay and takes it up the ass. Specifically, he wants to take it up yours."_

"_That doesn't even make sense, you fucking Irish retard." Calum said, glaring at him. Ashton smirked. "Whatever, I'm going to go get another drink." He said, throwing the bottle at Niall who thankfully caught it without it smashing off his face._

_That would have been a lovely birthday present off Calum. But not surprising._

"Yeah, I know," Ashton said, seeing the look he was receiving off Riker "but... we were 15, nearly 16. I thought he was kidding. Wouldn't have you?" Ashton asked.

Riker nodded "Alright, fair point continue."

_Ashton walked through the crowds of people who were in his way, searching for Niall or Calum. He'd lost them about an hour ago after getting caught up in talking to some girl in their grade who started talking to him. Not in a flirty way. They use to know each other when they were in Elementary school but then they stopped talking for some reason. Ashton can't see why, she seems like a nice enough girl to keep in touch with._

_He went upstairs to see if they had both went up there to get away from the loud voices and the music that thudded around the house, but when he got up there all he saw was closed doors, cups on the floor and that was about it. He still checked the bedrooms and bathroom to see if they were in there, but no. Nobody was there. He turned around and headed back for the stairs._

_As Ashton started going down the stairs, Niall started coming up. "I've been looking all over for you, where have you been?" Niall asked._

"_I've been looking for **you **all over. Where have **you** been?" Ashton asked, raising his eyebrows._

"_Looking after Calum," Niall said, making Ashton confused "yeah... I thought it was a good idea for us and a few other people to play this drinking game and he kept losing so... currently... he's sat on the sofa ready to go home if you know what I mean."_

_Ashton groaned "Niall! His Mom's gonna kill me if I take him home drunk! He's 15. I think she could understand if he was 17 or 18. Not 15 almost 16."_

"_Well, you better get him home somehow because there's no room in my house for him to stay over. Otherwise I would let him."_

_Ashton rolled his eyes "This isn't funny!" He said, seeing the gigantic smirk slowly forming on Niall's face "where is he? I'll take him now." He jumped down the last few remaining steps and went to go find Calum, whilst Niall sat on the stairs watching with the biggest grin on his face._

_Oh this was so going to work out perfectly._

_When Ashton see's Niall again tomorrow, even though it's technically classed as tomorrow given it's half past midnight, he is going to grab him by the throat and choke him until he can no longer breathe. That drinking game Niall suggested for himself, Calum and another few friends to play was not the brightest idea he had – especially since it was a game Calum kept losing at and now Ashton's having to carry him home as best as he can._

_Ashton got to the front door of Calum's house, he checked for lights and saw that nobody appeared to be awake which was a good thing. He asked Calum quietly if he had his keys on him, but of course Calum just told him that they were in his pocket and didn't bother to get them out, meaning Ashton had to get them out somehow without accidentally touching anything he didn't want to._

"_That's not my keys, Ashton!" Calum said, his words slurred._

"_Sorry!" Ashton said, quickly grabbed them. He held onto Calum and unlocked the front door where he dragged Calum in behind him._

_Ashton had to let Calum stand on his own for a few seconds whilst he locked the front door, because it looked like Ashton wasn't going to be able to leave Calum stay at home till morning to give his Mom a good explanation of why he can barely stand._

_He finished locking the door, but as he went to turn around he heard a loud thud that shook the house and probably woke up his Mom and sister. _

"_Calum? Is that you?" His Mom asked, coming out of her bedroom._

"_Calum, say yes!" Ashton whispered, seeing him on the floor now sitting back up._

"_Yeah." Calum called up the stairs like Ashton told him too._

"_Oh, okay." She said, going back into her room._

_Ashton sighed in relief, grabbing Calum by his hands and pulling him back up. They started making their way towards the stairs, holding onto one another. Mainly Ashton holding onto Calum so he didn't tumble down the stairs and break his neck. "Cal**uM**!" Ashton said with panic as he fell backwards a little and Ashton had to tighten his grip around him, and hope for the best he didn't fall backwards as he was behind Calum. And if Calum fell, Ashton would unfortunately be his crash mat._

_Ashton kicked Calum's bedroom door open and shut it quietly, so that he didn't attract the attention of his Mom again. Even though the first time it was Calum's fault rather than Ashton's. _

_They walked over to the bed and Ashton gently let Calum go so that he fell onto his bed, but Calum kept hold of him which caused Ashton to go down with him. Ashton sighed, now lying next to him where Calum had fallen on the bed "Well, that wasn't supposed to happen..." Ashton said, quietly and staring up at the ceiling. After a few seconds he sat back up "Anyway, I'm gonna find a quilt and I'm gonna sleep on the floor." He said about to get up._

"_No, Ash." Calum grabbed hold of Ashton's arm so that he stayed on the bed._

"_What?" Ashton asked, looking at him and finding his drunkenness a little bit funny. It was like suddenly he was turning into this needy 5 year old._

"_I... er... um... I..."_

"_You what?" Ashton asked, letting out a soft laugh at how he couldn't string a sentence together. This is the first time Ashton's ever saw Calum fully drunk, and he wouldn't mind seeing it again because it's hilarious._

_Calum shook his head, pushing Ashton away from him "Doesn't matter. You're too stupid to even realise it." he said, turning over and having his back to Ashton._

_Ashton let the smile wipe off his face, and he frowned "What's wrong? Don't get emotional with me dude. I thought only girls got emotional when they drank," Ashton said, only to get flipped off by Calum. "Alright, seriously. What's wrong? Why have you suddenly gone from happy to sad?" he asked "is something bothering you?"_

"_You've already been told."_

"_Have I..?" _

"_Yes."_

"_When?"_

"_Today."_

"_Did I?"_

"_Yes!" Calum said, turning over._

_Ashton hushed him "Alright, quiet down, you're parents will hear and then they'll yell at me for letting you get so drunk."_

"_Oh, boo, hoo." _

"_Thanks," Ashton said sarcastically at the fact Calum didn't care if Ashton got yelled at by Calum's parents for letting him get drunk to the point where he couldn't stand or string a sentence together. Ashton sighed "Seriously, will you just tell me or drop me some sort of hi—"_

_That was when Calum had enough of Ashton being an oblivious ass hole and he grabbed Ashton's face with his hands and pressed his lips against Ashton's. He wouldn't have done this if he was sober, it was the alcohol that was giving him the confidence to do it. Maybe he should drink more often so that he had this type of confidence._

_And that was when it clicked in Ashton's head, apart from the obvious fact Calum is gay and likes Ashton._

_Niall set this up completely._

_He knew this would happen if he got Calum drunk._

Riker laughed "Oh, wow. So he got Calum drunk on purpose?" Riker asked, Ashton nodded "well, this Niall guy seems like a right unique character."

Again, Ashton nodded with a smile "He is." the smile then dropped from his face, where he returned to being sad again. Reminding himself that Calum's gone, and now Niall's gone. Except, Niall can come back to Ashton any time he likes, but Calum can't.

Riker now frowned "Ash, I think you need to spend some time with somebody else. You know? Someone who's gone through something similar to you and that understands," Riker said, making Ashton look up at him "I'm not asking you to forget about Calum, I know it's what you're probably thinking, but I'm not. It's just so you can get your mind off what happened and maybe stop blaming yourself for his death."

"But it is my fault."

"No it's not. See, this is what I'm talking about!" Riker took a deep breath "Look, I've already spoken to Luke, but I think you need to spend some time with him. His brother died a year ago, I don't know how he won't tell me, but he blames himself too. He thinks he could have prevented his death the same as you think you could have prevented Calum's. And I admit, Calum's could have been avoided. But I don't know about Luke's brother's death though. Maybe if you spend some time with him, you'll build a friendship and maybe he'll open up to you or something. Give it ago."

Ashton sighed "Really?"

Riker nodded "Yes! Now go on. Go get Luke, and get out of here. I'll you both go early," Riker said. Ashton didn't move he stayed still, staring at Riker. "If it helps and cheers you up, I'm gonna have to make Ross and Ellington spend some time together and that's going to go worse than yours and Luke's time together could go."

"Oh, God," Ashton said, standing up "alright, I'll give it ago with Luke and see what happens."

Riker smiled "Good. See you later," Riker said, watching as Ashton headed towards the door "oh, and Ashton, if it also helps you out with Luke."

Ashton turned around "Yeah?"

"If anything, yours and Luke's time together won't end as soon and as bad as Ross and Ellington's will."

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**YAY I finally got a Cashton flashback done. WOO. Not gonna lie, thought I wasn't for a moment lol. **

**Thanks for reading!**

****&amp; WHILST I'VE STILL HOPEFULLY GOT ALL OF YOUR ATTENTION: Can you guys go check out my story "Five Nights At Freddy's" bc not many people read it, and I really like writing that story, and it makes me feel a little bit shitty at how barely anybody reads it &amp; it makes me feel like it's not a very good story &amp; that I'm not doing a very good job. &amp; the people who said they'd check it out haven't. So... could you guys hopefully check it out for me after you've read this &amp; tell me what you think? It'd mean a lot. (if it helps its a Brad/Ross/Rocky/Ashton/Luke only story bc I know how much everyone loves them four together after The Last Judgement)****

_****PLEASE REVIEW! ;D****_


	5. Horribly Depressed

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait on the update, I've been trying this update schedule thing that's been created for me by my friend Olivia. And so far, this week it's worked bc today is the day this story is supposed to be updated WOO!**

**HopefullY I haven't lost A LOT of readers.**

**Also, I know a lot of you noticed Niall in the previous chapter (as in One Direction Niall) and that's bc I'm shit at made up characters &amp; 5SOS &amp; 1D are friends anyway, and Niall is the closest to the band so I thought... Why not? He's not exactly a main character to the story. Just vital to Ashton &amp; Calum as well as Ashton's flashbacks. Yay.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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**Guest Account Replies:**

**Charlotte: **Listen, don't review on my other stories telling me to update a certain story that isn't the actual story you're asking me to update. It's not gonna work.

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**Chapter 5  
**_Horribly Depressed_**  
**

Ellington exited the room he had just been in with Riker, who had recently told him that he had to go spend some time with Ross because their problems are similar. In a way. What's so similar about Ross and Ellington's problems? Ross has got a family that loves him and doesn't ignore him just because they're all of a sudden fighting. He's seen his sister, Rydel, and she seems like she cares enough for him.

He has nobody. No siblings or anything that he can turn to. At home he feels lonely, so he either locks himself in his room or he goes out until late hours of the night when his parents aren't so bothered about where he's been. Not that they're bothered about him anyway. Sometimes he'll miraculously find a friend that wants to spend some time with him and he'll spend the night at their house.

He looked around the room, seeing the usual people. Brad, Savannah, Ashton, Luke, Ross and minus Alexa who should have already been here by now. Ellington shrugged, it was none of his business.

Ellington strode over to Ross, who was sat next to Luke, and stood in front of him. Both of the boys looked up to him. "Riker's letting me and you go early," Ellington said, making Ross confused "he says we need to spend some time with each other. Whether if it's here or out side of here. Honestly, I'd prefer out of here because I don't want to be trapped in this room all the time."

Ross looked unsure as to what to say to that. He didn't know what to say either without him getting offended. Riker had spoken to Ross before he had spoken to Ellington, and Riker did say that he wanted he and Ellington to spend at least some time together but he wasn't sure about it. Luke glanced between Ross and Ellington, letting his gaze stay focused on Ellington "What if he doesn't want to go?" Luke asked, trying to stand up for him.

"Then he's going to be pretty lonely here," Ashton said, cutting in as he came over "because Riker said the same thing to me, but with you."

Luke nodded "Yeah, I know. I was just... kinda waiting for you to come over and tell me cos, I didn't want to say anything in case you were uncomfortable with it."

"Why would I be uncomfortable with it?"

Luke shrugged "I don't know... spending time with another guy after your boyfriends died. It might seem a little dodgy to you."

"Luke, do you wanna be depressed all your life?"

Luke shrugged, again "Dunno. Depends how long I live."

Ashton rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him up harshly "Oh, c'mon. The sooner we do this the sooner we can get it over with."

Luke shoved Ashton away from him harshly after he grabbed his arm, making Ashton take a few steps back and hold up his hands at the unexpected out burst from Luke. Even Ross and Ellington gave him a funny look, along with Brad and Savannah who weren't even paying attention until they heard Ashton nearly fall to the floor. "S-sorry..." Luke said, he sighed and wiped his face with one hand briefly "It's just an instant reaction every time someone—never mind. It's a long story."

"It's alright," Ashton said, sort of understanding "now, would you like to go?" he asked, gently. Luke nodded.

Luke faced Ross "I'll see you later." he said, and Ross responded with a nod before leaving with Ashton.

Ellington nodded towards the door "C'mon. We don't have to go do something, I can just walk you home if you like and we can talk then. Or, I can talk and you can just respond with either a nod or a shake," He said, making Ross let out a soft laugh. Ellington smiled "There we go. Progress. Now, do I have to do what Ashton just did to Luke and get nearly pounded to the floor or are you willing to go without force?" He asked.

Ross got up from the seat he was sat in which gave Ellington his answer. They turned around to leave together when they were given a sudden scare as the doors to the room boomed open and in came a blonde girl with medium length hair. Ross turned his head to Ellington confused. "That would be Alexa." Ellington answered quietly.

The boys began to leave the room, having to pass Alexa on the way. "Riker wants to see you." Ellington said.

"I'm aware." She said, snapping slightly as she walked by.

"Attitude. Turn it down a notch."

Alexa rolled her eyes before disappearing into Riker's room, letting that door boom open and slam shut too. Ellington sighed "Yeah, she's got an attitude problem. Acts like she doesn't care when she does." He said as they walked down the hallway to the exit of the building.

* * *

The first five minutes of their walk was pretty tense and awkward as Ellington didn't have a clue what to say. Normally he does when he's been with someone he doesn't know that's quiet. All he could do was go to say something but decide against it, which made him begin to think that Ross was starting to think he's some weirdo. "So," Ellington said, swinging his arms so that his hands clapped together "you go to school with Brad and Luke, huh?" He asked, Ross nodded.

This wasn't going to be easy because all he was going to get was nod and shake head answers. "Why don't you talk to me?" Ellington asked, making Ross look at him "I see you talk to Luke. He's no different to me, in a way."

Ross shrugged "I don't know... You—never mind." he shook his head quickly, deciding not to say that in case he got a punch in the face.

"No, no, go on. I'm intrigued. I won't do anything."

Ross shook his head "No. It doesn't matter."

Ellington sighed heavily "Ugh, c'mon, I'm never gonna get you to talk to me like how you talk to your sister and Luke if you don't tell me what I do that makes you not want to talk to me."

"You make me nervous."

"Nervous? How do I make you nervous?" He questioned.

"Don't take it to heart, everyone who I don't know makes me nervous. That old lady waiting for the bus over there makes me nervous." Ross said, pointing to the old, fragile, obviously helpless, old lady sat in the bus shelter they were about to walk passed.

Ellington glanced at the old lady as they walked by, being confused as to why an old lady like her can make an eight-teen year old boy nearly crap his pants. Unless he was being metaphorical by it. He nodded, getting it as they were getting further from the bus stop "Oh, I get it. Anxiety. Don't worry, I get it from time to time when I'm with loud mouth people who just don't give a shit. But when I'm with the likes of you, who's really quiet, — and might I add attractive – all of it goes away because I know you won't care about what I say and what I do, just as long as it's not aimed at you," He said, taking a small pause. He let out a soft laugh "haha. That last part rhymed a little."

Ross cracked a small smile, finding it slightly funny. "So er, if you don't mind me asking... Why are you at Riker's support group?" He asked, Ellington turned his head at him which made him nervous again "n-not that it matters. You don't have to tell me if you don't want me to."

Ellington let out a laugh at how he was acting, it was cute and adorable "Alright, relax. I'm not angry. You asked a question, and I'll respond. Jeez, you don't have to get anxious about everything you say to me or ask me. But to answer your question, my parents are ass holes and basically blame me for the reason they're fighting and show that by ignoring me on a regular basis, and it makes me depressed. And, I'm taking it your anxiety makes you depressed, right?" He asked, Ross nodded "there we go. We found one thing in common. We're both horribly depressed."

"I guess so..." Ross said, thinking about it slightly "but... aren't you 20? Can't you move out so you don't have to be around the people who make you depressed?" He asked.

"I wish I could, but I don't have enough money to survive by myself. I have no other family that I prefer who live in this area, otherwise I would leave in a heartbeat. So for now, I lock myself in my room which I treat as if it was my own apartment. And it's not just my parents that make me depressed, it's other people too. You know? The ones who act like nothing can touch them and they think they're all this and all that, and basically treat you like you're something they wiped off the bottom of their shoe?" Ellington explained.

Ross nodded, understanding and feeling very relieved that someone finally understood the way he felt. Emotionally and about society. "Do you play video games?" Ellington asked, seen as though it seemed like they were finally getting somewhere. Ross nodded. "Great! What type of games do you play? Or does it range from different genres?"

"It ranges. Sometimes horror, nice games, violence, Mario Kart. Lets face it, Mario Kart is like it has it's own genre sometimes."

Ellington nodded "True, true. Wait, you have anxiety and you play horror games?" Ellington asked, slightly confused by this and Ross nodded "how?! Don't you get scared at night when you're trying to sleep?"

Ross shrugged "Sometimes. It depends on how bad I get scared. But the games are fun, so I'm not complaining."

"What horror games do you play?" Ellington asked, deciding that he can judge on how scary they are and find out why he isn't so scared after playing them.

"Outlast, Five Nights At Freddy's, stuff like that."

Ellington's eyes widened slightly "Great. Crazy people running lose around a mental asylum they've taken over and robotic animatronics that want to stuff you up their own ass," He said, sarcastically "I can't talk though, I've played them too. Don't play them at 3 in the morning though... that was a grave mistake I made," he looked to the side thoughtfully as he said that, Ross laughed softly "but, I can guess what other games you play. I suppose they aren't that bad."

"Thanks."

"I might have to vs you one day."

Ross nodded "Alright. Fair enough."

After Luke and Ashton left, they hopped into Ashton's car and set off for town. They weren't like Ross and Ellington, if they were going to get to know each other properly, they were going to spend some time together like friends would normally do.

When they got to town, Ashton parked his car outside this coffee shop they decided to go in because it was quiet and nobody would pay attention to them. They found a table in the corner of the room and sat there for at least ten minutes before any serious questions were asked. It was like they were friends already. "Have you ever been here before?" Luke asked.

Ashton shook his head, taking a quick glance round "No. I don't think so. I've always walked passed it, but never paid much attention."

Luke thought about what he was going to say for a moment, before deciding to say it even though he knew it was a risk of upsetting Ashton "You know... I was kinda surprised you drove here, or drive at all, after what happened to your boyfriend. He did die in a car accident right? I didn't get that wrong. Please don't get offended! I meant it as a genuine question!" he said, getting scared as Ashton slowly looked up at him from looking down.

Ashton shrugged "I wouldn't get around much if I didn't drive. Besides, the only places I drive to is the support group and my Mom's when she forces me to go there. They aren't exactly long distances. Then again, where Calum was driving wasn't exactly a long distance either... But yeah, sure, I get scared some times every time I see a speeding lorry, truck, van or car coming near me. Sure, I'd like to die sometimes but I wouldn't like to die the way he did. It seemed and sounded painful," he shuddered a little and decided he wanted to get off this subject "can we talk about something else now?"

Luke nodded "Er, yeah, sure. Erm... you said you have a Mom?" He asked, slightly interested – if that didn't sound weird "do you have a Dad too? With siblings? Like a proper family?"

"I have a Mom and a little brother and sister. My Dad left when I was younger. But I'm happy just having my siblings and Mom, I feel it's better that way."

"Is your Mom nice?"

Ashton nodded, seeing a small smile form on Luke's lips "What's with the family questions?" Ashton asked, laughing slightly "not that I'm bothered. What about you, though? What's your family like? Who do you live with?" he asked, sipping on the drink he had.

Luke looked down and frowned "My parents are dead."

Ashton nearly choked on his drink, feeling bad for asking that question as he understood why Luke was asking it and getting unusually happy when Ashton talked about his Mom. Because he likes that other people have proper families. "Oh, er, I'm sorry," Ashton said, not really knowing what to say "um... so, who do you live with? By yourself? Guardian?"

"I live with my oldest brother Jack and my best friend Michael," Luke answered "I had another brother called Ben, but he died a year ago. Jack's all I have left in my family."

Ashton frowned "I'm sorry... How did they die?" Ashton asked "I know it's kind of an insensitive question to ask, but... you know how Calum died, and you have more than one person that's died. So, I don't know if they all died at the same time. And oh my god, I feel like a right dick now." he said, seeing the look on Luke's face.

Luke laughed softly "Don't worry about it. My Dad died in the army when I was a baby, so I don't really remember him. My Mom died about 2 years ago because a drunken driver ran her over."

"Oh... I'm so sorry. What about your brother? How did he die?"

"He died a year ago," Luke said, becoming nervous and feeling the palms of his hands begin to sweat "um... he died because... he... um... see... the thing is. I came home one day and... I... er... um..." he tried to bring himself to say the words but he couldn't. He thinks about it every day and screams it at Jack every time he blames himself for Ben's death. Why can't he tell Ashton for?

Oh, yeah, because then he'll join the dots up as to why Luke is the way he is.

Ashton put his hand on top of Luke's and rubbed it gently for comfort "It's alright. You don't have to tell me." he said with a small comforting, reassuring smile. Luke smiled back, taking his hand away from underneath Ashton's slowly.

Luke breathed deeply and removed any thoughts that tried to enter his mind. He went to go look at Ashton, but saw something dangling around Ashton's neck. It was a necklace chain with a ring hanging on it. "What's, er, what's the um... ring?" He asked.

Ashton looked down, seeing the ring on the necklace Luke was talking about. He grabbed hold of it gently and stroked it with his fingers, with a small frown. Luke's eyes widened when he realised "Oh my, God. No way. That must have been horrible for you!"

Ashton let go of the necklace "Well, it sure did make things a whole lot worse. Given the fact he didn't have time to give it to me so somebody else had to give it to me and they told me it was what he was going to do before he died." he said, staring out into space as a sudden wave of depression hit him.

Luke had his hands over his mouth, not being quite sure what to say or feel about this any more. "I need the bathroom." Ashton said, getting up.

"Ashton..." Luke said, feeling bad for him now.

Ashton went to turn around "No, no, it's—" as he went to turn around, he ended up colliding into someone "oh my, God, I'm so so—... Niall..." he said, slightly shocked to see him here.

"Oh my, God, Ashton..." Niall said, also surprised and shocked to see him "what are you doing here?" he asked. He looked behind Ashton, seeing a boy with dark blonde hair sat at the table Ashton was sat at. Niall smiled looking back at Ashton "Finally moved on, I see."

Ashton stared at him confused. He looked at Luke and back to Niall "What? No! He's just a friend. I haven't seen anybody since. Do you honestly think I would?" he asked "it would take a miracle."

"True," Niall agreed "well, it was nice seeing you again. You too, whoever you are."

"Luke." Luke said.

"Luke... Bye now." Niall said before turning around and leaving.

Ashton shut his eyes and sighed, sitting back down on his seat. Luke leaned forwards on the table "Who was that?" Luke asked, whispering.

"Mine and Calum's old best friend Niall," Ashton said, staring at the spot on the floor in front of him "we haven't been the same since Calum died. And... it hurts. We've been best friends since we were eight, me and Niall, and now he can't even look at me in the eye any more."

Luke frowned "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

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**Thanks for reading! Hopefully it answered some questions but still leaves you all wondering!**

**Also, please let me know what you would like to see happen next otherwise this story is going to be cut shorter than planned. **

_**PLEASE ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS IN YOUR REVIEWS:**_

**Thoughts on Luke's outburst at Ashton at the start?**

**Thoughts on Ross agreeing to get to know Ellington?**

**Thoughts on what you saw of Alexa's character?**

**Thoughts on Ross &amp; Ellington's time together?**

**Thoughts on Ashton &amp; Luke's time together?**

**Thoughts on what you think is wrong with Luke &amp; what you think causes him to be the way he is?**

_**PLEASE REVIEW! :D**_


	6. Long Sleeves & Bracelets

**Sorry for taking a while to update this, I know Unpredictable's supposed to be updated today, but if it happens I'll update it tomorrow instead when this is supposed to be updated. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Guest Account Reviews:**

**Holly: **Yeah, I'm glad you noticed that about Alexa :) Nobody else seemed too haha

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**Disclaimer: I Do not own R5, The Vamps,5 Seconds of Summer or the game Five Nights At Freddy's, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI, Capitol Records &amp; Scott Cawthon!**

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**Chapter 6  
**_Long Sleeves &amp; Bracelets_**  
**

Ellington shrieked for about the 100th time playing the game, and he hadn't even made it to the half way point yet which was 3 a.m. And it was Night 1.

Everyone gets passed Night 1 on Five Nights At Freddy's.

It was Saturday, 2 days ever since the second group meeting – for Ross, anyway, and ever since then Ross had been a lot more talkative towards Ellington. AKA, instead of ignoring Ellington's texts Ross would actually reply to them this time instead of getting nervous about it and blowing it off because he's scared, and doesn't want to come across as annoying.

"Okay," Ross said, taking the laptop away from Ellington quickly "as entertaining as it is, watching you play this, I think you should stop." he put the laptop back on his desk that was in the corner of his bedroom.

"Aww," Ellington pouted "I was having fun..."

Ross faced Ellington, raising his brow "The screams begged to differ. It's not that bad. If you're like that on the easiest level on the game, what are you gonna be like when you get to the 6th night?" Ross asked, folding his arms.

Ellington's face dropped "There's 6 nights? The games called _Five_ Nights At Freddy's! Isn't that kinda defeating the object by creating a 6th night?!" Ellington asked. Ross laughed a little, shaking his head. "It's not funny! My heart cannot take that game!"

"I thought you said it was fun?"

Ellington struggled to find a comeback after he had just contradicted himself "Oh, fuck you," Ellington flopped back onto Ross's bed with a heavy sigh. "Not literally," He added quickly, sitting back up "because 1, it's impossible, and 2, if it was possible, why waste the energy and time when I could just do it for you?" Ellington asked, Ross's eyes widened "I'm gonna stop flirting now because it's starting to go too far."

Ross nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, Ross's bedroom door came crashing open and it hit off the wall, causing both boys to jump as Rydel came into the room. She looked between at Ross "What's going on?!" She asked.

"What do you mean 'what's going on'?" Ross asked, confused.

"I heard screaming and then a bang!"

"Ellington was screaming at a game and he flopped back onto the bed."

Rydel furrowed her brow "Ellington? Who's Ell—" Rydel's eyes averted to the bed where she finally saw a boy, who was obviously Ellington, sat on the end of Ross's bed. Rydel let out a soft laugh "Ah, sorry. I thought—you know—something was er... wrong. Apparently not. Everything's fine," she breathed deeply "I'm Rydel by the way, I'm his older sister," she said, giving him a wave "and I'll be downstairs if you need anything or in my room. I'll just... leave you both... to it. Bye now." She said, finally leaving and closing the door behind her.

Ross sighed, shaking his head "I'm so sorry about her."

"It's okay. She's your sister, she just wants what's best for you. Because I'm taking it she's the only one who _knows_ about you and your 'problems'?" Ellington asked, Ross nodded "let me guess... your parents don't take any notice or didn't listen properly? Or do they just chose to ignore it?"

"Sometimes the first one... mainly the last."

Ellington cocked his head "How come you wear so many bracelets?" Ellington asked, making Ross confused "sorry, I tend to jump to different subjects at random moments... you'll-you'll get used to it. But seriously. Bracelets. Why so many?" Ellington asked, curious and suspicious.

Ross shrugged "I don't know..."

Ellington raised his brow "I'm not stupid. I know _why_ I just want you to tell me why if you get me?"

"If you know why then shouldn't you know why?" Ross asked.

Ellington shrugged "I have a fair idea. I know. I was in _that_ habit once, but I realised I wasn't achieving anything with it. The only thing I was achieving was leaving scars and losing blood, and quite a lot if I'm honest, but not to the point where I had to be hospitalised. As I said, my parents forget about my existence, so it's not like they'd have dialled 911 in a hurry if it had gone too far."

"Then how did you stop?"

"Will power, dude. And... Riker. He has ways that man, I'm telling you now. So seriously, if you have anything that's bothering you that bad, talk to him. Call him now if you want, I'll give you his number," Ellington said. As Rydel, Ellington only wants what he thinks is best for Ross. Ross shook his head, clearly nervous and not wanting to annoy Riker on a Saturday. "Are you sure?" Ellington asked, Ross nodded "cos... I can just... scribble it down on a piece of paper right now if you want."

"No! I'm fine! Honestly! Just stop," Ross said, scratching his arms nervously "I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go get a drink. Do you want one?" He asked.

Ellington shook his head "No. I'm fine. I'll just wait here."

Ross said 'okay' to Ellington before leaving the room. Once Ross was gone, Ellington took a pen from Ross's desk and wrote down Riker's number on a piece of scrap plain paper that was randomly lying about on Ross's desk, and he wrote Riker's name above it. Once Riker's name was on it, Ellington flipped the paper around and scribbled down something else.

He turned around and decided to go down to the kitchen where Ross was. As he got half way down the stairs, he saw Rydel was about to come up and he stopped. "Hey," Rydel said, smiling "You can come down. I'll wait. Don't worry."

Ellington nodded "Oh, hey, high five!" Ellington said, passing her.

Rydel felt confused as to why Ellington wanted a random high-five, but she gave him one anyway. As Ellington high-fived Rydel's hand, he clasped onto it "You have soft hands." Ellington said, still holding onto her hand, and Rydel cocked her head. Now she was even more confused _and_ scared.

Slowly, Ellington let go of her hand and walked away. Rydel went to go put her hand back down to her side, but she felt something inside it. She opened up her hand to see a folded up piece of paper, she furrowed her brow and looked over to Ellington who had just walked into the kitchen – throwing her one last smile. She opened up the piece of paper, seeing a number on it with the name 'Riker'. And she turned it over where there was a small message.

Ellington walked into the kitchen, seeing Ross had already got a drink. "Don't tell me you changed your mind." Ross said, Ellington nodded "okay, have this." he handed his drink to Ellington "oh, by the way..." Ross said, going into the cupboard for another glass "I've noticed something ever since you asked me that bracelet question."

"What?" Ellington asked, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"If you're going to ask people those sort of questions... Then, I think you need to ask Luke one next time you see him."

"Which is?"

"Why do you always wear long sleeved shirts?" Ashton asked, who was walking with Luke through the park. The pair of them had been out by themselves and ended up bumping into each other, so they thought they'd walk with one another for a while until one of them had to leave.

Luke looked down at the top he was wearing, realising it was long sleeved. He shrugged "I don't know. I guess I don't have many short sleeved ones?" Luke questioned, not being sure himself as to why he wore long sleeved ones. He went to roll up his sleeves as he felt himself getting a bit warm, but stopped when he remembered as to why he wore long sleeved shirts.

Luckily Ashton wasn't paying attention to him when he tried to roll up his sleeves so he rolled them back down quickly. "So what brings you out anyway?" Luke asked.

Ashton shrugged "I don't know. I got bored at home and thought I could do with some fresh air. What about you? Why are you out?" Ashton asked.

"My brother's at work and my friend Michael's gone out somewhere. I don't like being at home alone."

"Why?" Ashton asked, but he saw how uncomfortable Luke got as soon as he asked that question "doesn't matter. I don't need to know." he said, looking away from Luke awkwardly.

On one hand, Ashton didn't want to know why Luke acted the way he did and what had happened to him to be in the state he's currently in to attend the support group, because it would only trigger something. But on the other hand, he did because it seems like Luke really does need to talk about it to someone. Sure, Ashton hasn't exactly talked to anybody about Calum properly, only briefly and that's about it. But he'd rather not because it only makes him feel worse for what happened to him.

"Hey!"

Luke and Ashton turned around when they heard a boy shout. Ashton furrowed his brow as a boy around Luke's age with red hair approached them both. "Hey, Luke, who's this?" He asked.

Luke looked at Ashton "This is my friend Michael, he's the one I live with as well as my brother," Luke quickly informed Ashton. Luke faced Michael "This is Ashton. He's someone from that support group. I just ran into him."

Michael smiled "Oh, okay. That's fine. I was just wondering, you know?" Michael scratched the back of his head nervously "um... does he know about—?"

"_No_."

Michael nodded "Oh, right, sorry! Yeah, something you should know about me, I'm not the brightest star in the sky in these situations." he said, directing it at Ashton.

"Well... You're the brightest haired person in the park. That's gotta count for something, right?" Ashton asked.

Michael let out a soft laugh "Anyway, I won't disturb you both. I'm going home now so I'll see you later, Luke." He said about to walk off.

"Wait," Luke said, he turned to Ashton "it was nice running into you, but, I'm gonna go home now." He said, slowly walking over to Michael.

Ashton nodded "That's fine. I better go home too so I can—" Ashton stopped himself when he remembered he had nothing to do at home but sit on the couch, stare at the four walls and think about Calum "er... I don't know. I just better go home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah! I'll just er... see you on Wednesday." Ashton said, giving him a small smile. Luke returned the smile before walking off with Michael. Ashton watched them both for a little while before deciding to turn around and head home himself.

* * *

**Sorry for the shit update, I just don't want to rush this story all at once before I get to the main parts of this story. The next main part of the story involves Brad, so, hopefully I can kick that into swing in the next chapter.**

**Please review if you want the next one &amp; answer the questions below!**

**Thoughts on Ross finally being a bit more open to Ellington?**

**Thoughts on Rydel?**

**Thoughts on Ellington?**

**Thoughts on Ellington giving Riker's number to Rydel with the message on the back?**

**Thoughts on Luke?**

**Thoughts on Ashton?**

**Thoughts on Michael?**

**PLEASE tell me what you would like to see happen in this story!**


	7. Forgetting

**Sorry for the wait on the update :) I know what I want to write, it's just putting it into words that I struggle with.**

**Okay, so, I wrote a scene that was supposed to be at the end of the last chapter &amp; i could have sworn I put it in there but... now it's not there. So, I have to put it at the start of this one. WOO!**

**Also, you may have noticed I deleted this story &amp; then reposted it so there's a slight chance you might not be following the story any more, so... You might need to re-follow it.**

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**Guest Account Replies:**

**Holly: **Hopefully it might :) I mean, I'm not really sure why I'm writing this story, but clearly it has a purpose to some people &amp; might shine a light on things a bit more :)

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**Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps or 5 Seconds of Summer, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI &amp; Capitol Records!**

* * *

**Chapter 7  
**_Forgetting_**  
**

The next support group session came by quicker than they had all anticipated. When they arrived, they could all sense something was wrong immediately. It wasn't by the way anybody was acting, it was just a feeling they had that something had happened. Especially by the way Riker had came in, he looked worn out and sad. Fed up? Clearly something had happened that he wasn't sharing.

In this session, Ross sat a little closer to Ellington this time, Brad sat by himself in between Ross and Ashton and Luke sat next to Ashton, and of course Alexa sat as far away as she could from the boys.

The six all sat in silence, looking around the room for something to look at as the atmosphere was becoming awkward. They had been here for at least ten minutes now and Riker hadn't started the session, he said hi and went into his little office and that was about it. Nothing else. Which seemed weird and suspicious to the likes of Ellington, Ashton and Alexa who had been coming here for a while now.

Ashton glanced around the 'circle' they were in (it was more like a semi-circle) and went to get up to go ask Riker when he was going to start this session or if they should all go home if he wasn't going to bother. But as he went too, Riker finally came out of his office. "Er, sorry about that, lets get this thing started." Riker pulled up a chair and sat in it. Ashton sat back down.

"Shouldn't we wait?" Alexa asked.

"Why?"

"We're missing Savannah, that's why."

"Oh, yeah... About that..." Riker said, not being sure how to put it into words "Alexa, you're going to be the only girl attending this session from now on." He didn't know how to say it easily, and this was the only way he could say it.

Alexa furrowed her brow "Why? Has she left the support group or something? Because if that's the case, I wanna leave."

Riker shook his head "No, she hasn't left. She erm... How do I put this? She's no longer with us."

"She's dead?" Ashton asked, surprised by that. Riker nodded. "H-how?! Actually, wait... never mind. I think it's obvious."

And as if they thought this whole thing couldn't get even more depressing than it was.

It just did.

Rydel sat by herself in some cafe/diner. She couldn't really tell what it was. It was a mix of both through her eyes, but that wasn't important or didn't matter.

She had the piece of paper in her hand that had Riker's number on it, the one Ross' friend Ellington gave to her. She flipped over the piece of paper and read the little message Ellington had left for her on the back:

_If you want Ross to get more help in order for him to get better, then I suggest you call this number and tell him so that he can help Ross out a little bit more than he already is – and to be honest, it isn't a lot._

Rydel took her phone out from her pocket and began putting Riker's number into it as somebody walked over to the table, standing directly in front of her. She looked up to see her best friend Connor staring down at her with his brow raised and slightly puzzled "So... When I ask if you're doing anything and you respond with a no, should I just take it as a lie from now on?" Connor asked.

She shrugged, not being sure what to say. Connor sat down opposite her "Do you even know what you're supposed to be doing right now?" Connor asked.

Rydel furrowed her brow "No?"

"You told me you're supposed to be picking Ross up from somewhere..."

Rydel's eyes widened when she realised she had completely forgot. Even with his name staring her in the face on a piece of paper. How the hell did she forget about him? She checked the time, seeing it had been twenty minutes past the time she was supposed to pick him up from the support group. Ross was not going to be happy with her.

Immediately, she jumped up from her seat and dashed outside to her car without saying so much as a goodbye to Connor.

The support group session ended and Ross had been waiting outside for Rydel to come pick him up for over twenty minutes and she still made a no show. Ellington asked if he wanted to walk with him again, but Ross said no because Rydel was picking him up. He's starting to sense he should have said yes to that offer.

Ross got up from the bench he sat on to leave when he heard someone call out his name. He turned around to see Brad coming towards him. "Hey," Brad said, stopping when he got up to him "I know this is probably a long shot, but, I have to walk home by myself and I was wondering if I could walk with you."

Ross nodded "Sure. What direction are you going in?" Ross asked. Brad pointed and unfortunately it wasn't the direction Ross was going in. "Ah... that's um... the complete opposite direction to what way I'm walking."

Brad sighed "Well then... Never mind. Looks like I'm walking on my own after all." He said before beginning to walk away.

"Are you alright?" Ross asked.

Brad stopped walking and turned around "Yeah." He said, even though it was a complete lie because lets face it. If you come to this place, you're definitely not fine at all.

"Are you sure?" Ross asked, Brad nodded "because... you have bags under your eyes that could carry my Mom's weekly shopping."

Brad didn't respond, instead he looked away like he was trying to think of a comeback or because he was offended. "Sorry. I didn't meant to offend you..." Ross apologised, quickly.

Brad waved it off "It's fine. I get it a lot from the people who actually talk to me and want to be around me. It doesn't come as a shock when others say it."

"Sorry," Ross said, and Brad stayed silent. "Maybe you should go home and sleep. I mean, you don't look like you get a lot of it."

Brad nodded "Yeah... maybe I will."

Ross gave him a small smile before leaving to go home.

Michael woke up and turned his head to his bedroom window, seeing it was still pitch black outside. He checked the time on his phone, seeing it was 4 a.m. He sighed and decided to get up to go to the toilet. Maybe after he goes to the toilet he can go back to bed and try to sleep before he has to get up again in two hours and a half for school.

After Michael was done in the bathroom, he walked passed Luke's room where he could hear noises. He stopped outside his door and listened. The noises were coming from Luke and it sounded like a mix of groaning, pain, whimpering and crying. He opened up the door and put his head around it "Luke..." Michael whispered, seeing Luke laid in bed. He wiped his eyes and took a closer look to see that Luke was thrashing about, obviously having a nightmare.

Michael came into the bedroom and shut the door, rushing over to wake him up, kneeling next to him on the bed. He shook him gently at first, but started to shake him more violently as he wouldn't wake up "Luke... Luke... Luke. Luke! Luke!"

Eventually, Luke finally woke up, grabbing hold of Michael tightly and breathing heavily, with tears in his eyes and beginning to cry. "Luke, it's alright! Calm down!" Michael said, trying to get him to calm down "I'm here! It's Michael! It was just a nightmare! It's alright, it's not real!"

"He was there. I saw him, Michael. He was fucking there! _Again_!" Luke said, beginning to sob.

Michael brought Luke into his arms and hugged him for comfort as best as he could "Well he's not here now. Don't worry," Michael pulled away from the hug "go back to sleep. I'll be here all night if you wake up again." he said, watching as Luke laid back down in bed. Michael sighed before laying down next to him, but keeping his space in case he accidentally got too close to him and triggered something.

Ross felt relieved when he heard the bell go, finally signalling the end of school. Unfortunately not for the week-end, it was Thursday. So he had one more day to go. His last lesson was Sociology and he looked behind him where he came face to face with an empty seat. He sighed. That was Luke's seat and he hadn't showed up for yet another day of school at all.

He'd been showing up a lot lately, but every time they have Sociology he never shows up for some reason.

Ross went to go leave the classroom but the teacher, Mrs Rivera, called him over. He walked over to her and she waited until every single student had left the classroom before speaking. "Are you okay, Ross?" She asked, Ross nodded "is Luke alright?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Well, he's been coming into school a lot more for the past few weeks, which is strangely unusual for him. And it's more than he has been coming into school for the past year and a bit. I mean, once upon a time he was here everyday. But now... you'll be lucky to see him at least once a month. Now he's been coming in a lot more frequently and now he's suddenly stopped again, and I've noticed it's every time he has this lesson. Even when he has shown up to this lesson he acts funny and tries to avoid talking about the subject we're doing. He's never before when learning about past subjects. I just... I find it a bit concerning, that's all."

Ross shrugged. "Come on, Ross. You've got to know. You and Luke have been talking and hanging round each other more than usual. You never use to."

"Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with him. He doesn't pay attention in any other subject he does anyway. Sure, he might for a little while, but he'll stop a short while later. I don't see how the subject we're doing now should affect why he doesn't show up for this lesson or barely pay attention," Ross paused "what are we even doing about anyway?" Ross asked, looking shifty and not wanting to get yelled at himself for not paying attention.

Mrs Rivera gave him a disbelieving look and shook her head "We're learning about domestic and child abuse, rather than do it separately."

"Well, I don't know why doing about abuse should affect whether or not he pays attention and his attitude towards the subject. Maybe he doesn't like what we're doing? I mean, I know he's been through st—" Ross stopped speaking, finishing off that sentence in his head and his eyes widened slightly as some sort of realisation hit him.

"What's wrong..?" Mrs Rivera asked, seeing some sort of change in Ross' facial expression.

"N-nothing. Nothing. Honestly. It's just the way Luke is, he never pays attention to anything." He said before quickly leaving the classroom.

Ross rushed out the front doors of school where he seen Rydel's car parked right out front. He rolled his eyes, still being annoyed that she had basically forgotten about him yesterday. He got into the car and slammed the door shut. "Are you alright?" Rydel asked, beginning to drive off.

And of course, Ross ignored her. "Did anything interesting happen today?" Rydel asked, he still never respond "how about that guy? What's his name? Ellington? Have you spoken to him lately?"

Still no response.

"Oh, so we're being childish and playing the quiet game are we?" Rydel asked, getting fed up of Ross ignoring her for nothing.

"Yeah, we are."

"Why?"

"Because you forgot about me yesterday! You're the only person in the world who truly cares about me and the only person I can rely on, and you forgot about me. That's why I'm being childish and playing the game quiet game, Rydel." Ross snapped, slumping down in the car seat and focusing more on looking out the window, rather than at Rydel who started to feel bad.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

_**PLEASE REVIEW &amp; ANSWER THE QUESTIONS BELOW IF YOU WANT THE NEXT ONE! :D**_

**Thoughts on Savannah's death?**

**Thoughts on Rydel &amp; Connor being a "BrOTP" rather than an "OTP" for this story?**

**Thoughts on Rydel?**

**Thoughts on Ross &amp; Brad?**

**Thoughts on Michael?**

**Thoughts on Luke's nightmare?**

**Thoughts on Ross?**

**Thoughts on Luke?**

**Thoughts on Ross &amp; Rydel?**


	8. VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE

**Hey guys! Yeah... This probably isn't something you're all going to want to hear, but it has to be done.**

**I'm so sorry this is not an update &amp; I am so sorry for what I'm about to say as well.**

**So, I feel like my stories aren't being updated or being as good as they could be &amp; I'm either rushing them, forgetting about them or taking forever to update. Normally it's not a bad thing if you take forever to update, but if it isn't good enough &amp; worth the wait then it's really not &amp; that's how I feel about the majority of my stories right now, even with the ones to come.**

**Lately all I've been wanting is for my stories to be absolutely 100% perfect, or almost perfect to the point where I DON'T want to change a thing about it. Take Going In Circles (if you remember that story) as a good example. I spent a few weeks writing out chapter plots by hand in a notebook &amp; typed it back into fanfiction &amp; made some tiny adjustments to it before I started wiring it. That's why it came out so perfect &amp; is the best &amp; most popular story I've ever written to date &amp; that was bc I took my time on it &amp; made it so that it made sense &amp; didn't go off the rails, like some stories are/have. And ever since that story I've been trying to plan my stories that way but it hasn't work bc I'm always worrying about my other FanFiction's I have out or or something else. Alright, yeah, the chapter plot thing has worked for The New Yesterday but I have no more chapter plots left for that which is why it's taking forever to update - but I'm still happy with that one. Currently, it's kinda working for The Deviants of Time - even though I feel I've rushed the beginning of it, but that can be sorted. I might just delete it &amp; re-post a few days later I don't know.**

**And I want my stories to be the same way Going In Circles was and to feel the same way I do about that story, and in order for me to do that, I need to write out chapter plots by hand &amp; then re-write them back into FanFiction where I can make tiny adjustments.**

**But... I can't do that &amp; update at the same time.**

**Which, leads me onto what I'm going to say next.**

**I've decided that I'm gonna stop updating for a few weeks so I can do the chapter plots &amp; sort all my stories out, even some of the ones I haven't even written yet. So, there'll be no updates from me at all in the next few weeks. But PLEASE stay tuned bc I will be back &amp; when I come back it will be worth it I promise. Yeah, it might take a while, but I wanna make you guys happy with my stories as much as I wanna make myself happy with them &amp; right now I don't feel like I'm doing that.**

**So, a few weeks, maybe a few months at the most it depends how long it takes. &amp; I can't stress how much it will be worth it. You guys know yourself at how perfect Going In Circles was. Don't you want the same for other stories too?**

**All this is, is a sort-of short-term break I guess.**

**Now, I won't stay away from FanFiction, I will still be on it &amp; you guys can still talk to me but I won't be on it as much. If you still wanna talk to me whilst I'm on this "break" then follow me on Twitter &amp; Instagram (lashtonsconR5), Tumblr (ashtonsbradR5), YouTube (WOWPZaileyStories101) or if you don't have either of those things then go on [remove the brackets &amp; put a full stop between ask &amp; fm] (ask) dot (fm) /R5IsMyPassion &amp; drop a question either as a guest, anonymously or as yourself :)**

**So, yeah. I hope you guys understand :)**

**I love you guys &amp; I'll see you all (hopefully) soon :)**


	9. Epilogue

**I am so sorry to do this but I couldn't bring myself to write this story any more. I mean, I had inspiration for it but only for the end. Not what was gonna happen. So I wrote an Epilogue. I'm sorry it's just no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find anything to write about between what happened in the last chapter &amp; the final one.**

**I hope this doesn't suck. I guess I'm just stressed a lot lately &amp; it's having a huge effect on my writing. Honestly, you're all lucky I never wrote an Epilogue for The New Yesterday. But I'm not gonna. Just this story. I mean, I guess if I find the motivation I can come back to this story &amp; delete the epilogue &amp; write I guess.**

**Anyway, sorry for doing this. I hope you enjoy this :)**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own R5, The Vamps, 5 Seconds of Summer or Niall from One Direction, all rights go to Hollywood, Mercury/Virgin EMI, Capitol &amp; Syco Music/Columbia Records!**

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

After the last time Riker and Ashton had their little one-to-one meeting, they had more where Ashton finally started to become more open to Riker about everything that had ever happened between himself and Calum in the past. Like the time when Ashton came out to his Mom and all she could do was laugh because she already knew as it wasn't hard to tell – making her completely and one hundred per cent okay with them both dating. Mainly she thought of Calum as a second son – well, third given that she has Harry as well as Ashton. But, Calum's parents weren't okay with it so they kicked him out onto the streets where he ended up living with Ashton up until the age of eighteen where Ashton's Mom kicked them both out to go live on their own. Not in a mean way, she just felt as though they needed their own space away from everyone and that worked out for them.

Ashton and Calum lived together, going through ups and downs but never broke up, up until the age of twenty.

When Calum died.

That day was eventful because the day started out normal, but it was also secretive on Calum's part. The two boys planned to spend the day together, mainly because Calum forced Ashton to, and they did. When they got home this happened:

"_What do you want to do for the rest of the night?" Calum asked, putting the apartment keys on the table._

_Ashton shrugged "I don't know... Chill out. Watch TV. All you've done is drag me around all day." He said, letting out a soft laugh at the end._

_Calum nodded "Alright, I can live with that. But... I wanna give you something," He said, making Ashton's face light up a little "but not yet. You're not ready for it. Maybe later tonight."_

_Ashton stomped his foot "Dude!"_

_Calum laughed "I'm sorry. I promise I'll give you it, one way or another."_

"_Is the other way me forcing it out of you?"_

_Calum nodded "Probably. Anyway, I'm gonna go to the store because I know what you're like when you want to watch TV all night, you binge out on food and drinks and most the time when it comes to that part of you watching TV, we never have anything you will eat. You're like a hormonal pregnant woman." He grabbed his car keys off the table once more._

_Ashton cocked his head, being slightly suspicious at Calum's kindness because normally he would never do this "What are you up to, Hood?" Ashton asked._

_Calum put his hands on his chest, faking offence "Can't I do nice things for my boyfriend?"_

"_Yeah, for five minutes. Not a whole day. Normally that means you've done something."_

_Calum laughed "Okay. Whatever. I'll be back soon. I love you." He quickly pecked Ashton's lips before leaving the apartment._

And that was the last time Ashton saw Calum.

Alive.

Usually it would only take Calum ten minutes to go to the store and back but Ashton had been waiting nearly forty-five minutes for him to get back, which made him worried. He kept calling and calling but all he got was the answer phone. That was when he got a knock at the door:

_Ashton opened up the door, not to Calum, but to Niall who came through the door cheering. "Heyyy, Ash!" Niall said, coming through the door without Ashton's permission._

_Ashton rolled his eyes, shutting the door "Oh dear. Have you been drinking?" Ashton asked._

"_No," Niall said, Ashton raised his brow "yeah. But only one I swear!"_

_Ashton laughed, mainly because Niall's Irish accent made everything a hundred times funnier. If he wasn't Irish, Ashton wouldn't find it as funny. "So," Niall said, now having a smile plastered across his face "how's the new-weds-to-be doing?" Niall asked._

_Ashton furrowed his brow "Weds-to-be? As in? Married? Cos we're not getting married Niall..."_

_Niall's face fell "Oh, shit. He hasn't done it yet." Niall face palmed._

_Now Ashton's face fell "What? He hasn't done what? More importantly – he's going to **do** what?"_

"_Well, cats out the bag now. Yeah, he's er... Gonna ask you to marry him so... Do you think you could act like you don't know when he does do it?" Niall asked, not wanting to get in trouble from Calum because he trusted Niall with his life with this secret._

_Ashton puffed his cheeks, nodding "I-I think... um... Yeah. Sure. We'll see how it goes. If he gets back."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_He went to the store forty-five minutes ago and hasn't come back. I've tried calling but there's no answer."_

_Niall thought for a moment, he froze "Wait... What store?" Niall asked, slightly shaking._

"_The one next to the gas station. The one that he always goes to. Why?" Ashton asked._

_Now Niall completely froze. He went by there in a taxi on his way here, and he did not like the sight he seen. Especially since he thought he recognised a car there. Well, what was left of the car. "Niall... Why..?" Ashton asked, getting panicked._

After that Niall explained to Ashton what he saw near there and it might possibly be Calum's car, but he wasn't sure with him been drinking before. Unfortunately, five minutes later, Ashton received a phone call from someone confirming that it was in fact Calum's car and that he needed to get to the hospital because he wasn't getting out alive. He got to the hospital as quick as he could with Niall and went into the room where Calum was, hooked up to a lot of machines that were only just keeping him alive. Ashton stayed by his bed side the entire time but it wasn't long before the sound of a life line going flat could be heard. Ashton got dragged out the room and five minutes later a doctor came out and told him he was dead.

From that day forward Ashton was never the same again, especially with the knowledge that Calum was going to propose to him as that was a hint that Calum obviously thought and hoped they would spend the rest of their life together. But that wasn't happening any more. Niall found the ring Calum had got in one of his drawers at the apartment and put it on a necklace for Ashton to wear as a reminder of Calum – but the whole apartment just reminded him of Calum due to the things that had taken place there, and for the fact Calum had been his best friend and the one person who made him the happiest no matter what happened for as long as he can remember.

And that's why Ashton is the way he is and how he ended up at support group.

As for Ross, after he spoke to his Sociology teacher he thanked his lucky stars that it was only him and Ashton at the next support group until the others showed up. Before they did, Ross nervously got Ashton on his own and told him about what the Sociology teacher had told Ross and how Luke used to attend school all the time and how he used to do things but now he doesn't because it suddenly stopped. Ross told him that he thinks he may have figured out why Luke is the way he is due to what the Sociology teacher said without even realising and that it concerned him. He confided in Ashton and told him.

And finally it all made sense to Ashton and he promised Ross, who was very concerned and scared for Luke, that he would talk to him and get him to open up somehow.

That same day, once everyone had arrived, Riker walked in and noticed that Brad wasn't there. He went to go ask but as soon as he did a door slammed shut and Riker went into the hallway where he found Brad pretty much in a heap crying. He gently took him into the bathroom where they had a bit more privacy and Riker asked him what was wrong again. Brad finally told him in the midst of his breakdown that he was done with everything and Riker told him to calm down and that they could talk about it; only for Brad to tell him no aggressively and how that no matter what Riker says or suggests to him, nothing works for him any more.

Riker tried to get Brad to calm down and talk but all Brad did was tell him that he's thankful for everything Riker had tried to do for him in the past but nothing worked and he told Riker he was no longer coming to the support group any more. Riker tried to convince him otherwise but he stormed out before Riker got a chance.

About a week after that, Ellington called Ross at school – due to the fact Ross and Ellington had been getting a lot closer and comfortable with each other. At first Ross was confused as to why Ellington would be calling him when he knew he was at school, and it just so happened that Luke was walking by to hear the phone call. Luke slowly sat down next to Ross, who sat by himself, and listened. Firstly, Ellington asked Ross if he was alright.

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" Ross asked, glancing at Luke who had sat by him._

"_Just erm... Have you noticed anything at school today?" Ellington asked, nervously and scratching the back of his neck._

_Ross could hear cars and some people in the distance of the phone call, meaning Ellington was somewhere suspicious "No..."_

"_Okay, let me re-phrase. Have you seen Brad at all?"_

Immediately, Ross looked at Luke who become confused. Ross told Ellington had hasn't seen Brad in two days and he asked Luke when was the last time he seen Brad and Luke told him the last time he seen Brad was at last week's support group due to the fact this is the first time Luke has been at school for a while. Ellington then explained to them he bumped into Riker this morning as he was on his way to somewhere, Ellington asked where and Riker told him the hospital because what Brad was going through was that bad he felt the need to kill himself.

Luckily he failed.

After that, Ross hung up the phone and told Luke what had happened which then resulted in Luke suggesting they snuck out of school and went to go see him. Ross was reluctant at first but Luke said he's done it plenty of times when he didn't want to be here. So Ross and Luke quickly found the gap in the fence Luke always uses and they escaped, surprisingly not getting caught, and they made their way to the hospital to see Brad with Ellington and Riker, Ashton also made an appearance later. Once they got there, the four started talking and Luke said that he couldn't believe they couldn't tell that Brad was going to pull a stunt like this in which Riker said a sentence that was sure to stick by them:

"_People pay attention to the wrong things and wrong people to realise what actually is going on around them. That's why we couldn't see the signs that Brad was going to attempt suicide. We were paying attention to the wrong things."_

After Riker had told them all that, Ashton realised he needed to act fast and talk to Luke immediately about what Ross had told him.

Ashton went to Luke's house a few days later where his brother Jack answered the door, wondering who Ashton was. He explained who he was and Jack relaxed, smiling, letting Ashton into the house and upstairs into Luke's room where he found Luke on his bed staring into space. Luke was startled at first to find Ashton in his room but he relaxed and he and Ashton got talking about regular things. Ashton wasn't going to ask him about what Ross had said just yet. As they got talking, they started getting closer to the point where they were that close and caught up in the moment that they kissed. Luke being the one that initiated it, and clearly Ashton was okay with it.

Nothing stopped them. The kiss started getting more heated and passionate until they laid back on the bed, Ashton on top of Luke. Ashton put his hands on Luke's hips but Luke pushed them away, getting on with the kiss, which made Ashton replace his hands a little further up and moving them around, which again made Luke push the hands away. Then it got to when Ashton started moving his hands on Luke's thigh, he was still clothed, and started getting further up and Luke freaked out and pushed Ashton off him before beginning to cry as bad memories started to flash through his mind. Ashton grabbed hold of him and calmed him down until it was quiet sobs, luckily Jack or Michael never came into the room. Once he had calmed down, Ashton asked Luke to explain to him as best as he could what had happened to him to make him the way he was and freak out on Ashton the way he did – even though by this point it was a little bit obvious as to why.

The story started that after his Dad died in the army his Mom met someone else years later, who was generally a nice person and Luke liked but there was just something off about him. They eventually got married and Luke, as well as his brothers Jack and Ben, got the privilege of calling him their step-dad. A little while after that, Jack went away. Two years ago his Mom was killed by a drunk driver running her over which left Luke, his brother Ben and their Step-Dad. That was when their Step-Dad went absolutely insane and lost it mentally. He didn't cope with it in a very a good way, he started drinking and going out all the time and he began to let his anger out on Luke and Ben by beating them and hitting them. Of course they tried to stick up for one another and protect each other but that only got the person trying to be brave beaten more. A year ago, Luke had gone out for the day to get away from the life he now lived at home but he didn't want to leave Ben, but Ben said it was fine and that all he was gonna do was stay in his bedroom. He did that. Later that day, Luke came home to an empty house. His Step-Dad wasn't in and he assumed Ben wasn't either. He looked in every room downstairs for Ben, he went in the basement, kitchen and living room. When he went upstairs the bathroom door was closed so he opened it up, but nothing. He wasn't there. The last place was his bedroom and when he opened the door his heart shattered into a million pieces when he found his older brother bloodied, beaten and bruised, lying dead on his bed. He called an ambulance but of course when the ambulance arrived his Step-Dad got home and put it through their heads that the house got broken into and Luke didn't have a say in the matter about the truth. After Ben died it left Luke as his Step-Dad's punching bag. Luke honestly thought he was going to die like Ben did. But unfortunately it got worse as time went on as a month after Ben died his Step-Dad tried to get a girlfriend of some sort but it never worked and it turned him sexually frustrated with nobody to 'let it out' on. Which left Luke as his last resort. That was when Luke started getting raped by his own Step-Dad. At first it only happened every now and then but what was an every now and then thing turned into a weekly thing that turned into an almost every day thing.

Just when Luke planned to end it all by ending his own life, Jack – his oldest brother – came home and rescued him from what he was going through. He got Luke out of the house he lived in and he moved in with Jack into a house far away from his Step-Dad who was soon arrested for what he had done. Eventually Luke's best friend Michael figured out what had happened to him after connecting the dots with the endless bruises Luke would always show up to school with and Michael's house. Michael figured that Luke could do with the extra support so he got his parents permission, after telling them and making them swear not to tell Luke that he told them, and he moved in with Luke and his brother.

If anything, this only brought Luke and Ashton closer together in friendship. So close that they actually ended up falling in love, kind of. But they both agreed not to date. At all. No matter what they felt about each other they would not date due to what they've both been through in the past. Ashton didn't want to go through what he went with Calum with Luke only to lose him in the end. And Luke told Ashton he didn't want to date him either because they would do 'stuff' that would only bring back bad memories in which Ashton responded with:

"_Hey. If we do end up dating and going out, if it makes you feel any better, I'll be bottom, you be top, that way no bad memories will come back for you," Ashton said, making Luke throw him a funny look, but he laughed at the same time. Ashton shrugged "Hey, it wouldn't make a difference to me. I'm used to being bottom." he added, trying to lighten Luke's mood. And it worked._

As far as Ross and Ellington went, they also started getting closer. To the point where Ellington actually managed, somehow miraculously, to get Ross to go out with him and they started dating. Much to everyone's surprise that knew them because they honestly thought that no matter what Ellington tried, he would never get Ross by the end of the six months they were at that support group.

He proved them all wrong. He got him. And if anything Ross and Ellington made each other happy and helped one another to get over what they were going through and became more happy rather than depressed. They made each other better. The same went for Luke and Ashton, even though they weren't dating. Brad on the other hand managed to get himself better by building a friendship with all of them. He wasn't really involved, he was just that type of friend that dabbled in everyone's friendship that everyone loved for some reason no matter what because they were that much of a good, nice and funny person. That was Bradley Simpson for you all. That's what helped him to get better, just being that person to everyone he knew and in general. And Luke helped Ashton to get over Calum. Not to forget. Just to move on from his death.

And by the end of the six months Riker had them all for, they were all better and it was finally time to say goodbye to them all as they went on to live happily and as best as they could.

Or so he thought.

One day he was sat in his office in the room where that support group used to be held when all of a sudden Ross came bursting through the room crying his eyes out. He asked him to calm down and tell him what was wrong. He told him that Ellington had gone AWOL. He wasn't answering his phone, he wasn't at home because nobody was answering the door and nobody could find him. Everyone was literally on the look out for him. Ross, Luke, Ashton and Brad. Even Rydel had gone on the look out for him with her friend Connor. None of them six could find him no matter where they looked.

They feared the worst.

But they also forgot what Riker had told them back at the hospital during this time: _"People pay attention to the wrong things and wrong people to realise what actually is going on around them."_

Luke was at Ashton's apartment, they were both worrying for Ellington but Ashton wasn't worrying as much. He had other things and people on his mind, he knew Ellington would be fine no matter where he was. He tried to speak to Luke but Luke kept on worrying for Ross' well being as well as Ellington's and another thing that was on his mind. Eventually Ashton gave up trying. Luke told Ashton that he was going to visit Ross because he needed to talk to him and see if he had gotten hold of Ellington yet some how. Ashton got up from the couch and at the door, Luke and Ashton hugged saying goodbye.

Luke got to Ross' house and Rydel let him in. He went into his room and his heart almost stopped when he saw Ross talking to Ellington on his bed. Apparently Ellington's parents had finally worked things out, saw what was in front of them and made Ellington go away with them to another city – making him having to leave any sort of contact behind just so that he could spend some time with his parents and nobody else. That relieved everyone. Ross asked if that was all Luke wanted from him but he said no, he wanted something else.

Ellington left the room and left Luke and Ross to talk. Luke explained to Ross the whole situation he had going on with Ashton where they promised one another that they wouldn't date due to what they've been through in the past. But he couldn't stick to that promise any more. His feelings were too strong towards Ashton to not be just friends with him.

"_I understand. I was trying to fight off my feelings for Ellington for a while. It didn't work out cos look where I am now." Ross said, making Luke chuckle._

"_I am right behind this door you know." Ellington's voice echoed from behind Ross' closed door._

_Ross lowered his voice "Look, if you wanna be with Ashton as much as you want to be. Then go. Go be with him. Tell him you feel, I'm sure he'll be understanding and he might want the same thing."_

"_Are you sure?" Luke asked, sounding uncertain._

_Ross rolled his eyes "Luke. How much do you wanna be with him?" Ross asked._

_Luke let a small smile form on his face "A lot."_

"_What's stopping you?"_

_Luke went to go respond but he had nothing to answer with. Ross laid back on his bed in satisfaction "There you go. Call me and let me know what happens." Ross said._

After that conversation with Ross, Luke became really confident to tell Ashton how he felt. So you know what he did? He went to Ashton's apartment, having what he wanted to say ready.

_Luke walked up to the door of Ashton's apartment with a smile on his face. Probably the biggest that he had ever had in a long time. He knocked on the door, waiting for Ashton to come answer. On one hand he was confident about this, but on the other he was nervous in case Ashton truly did want to stick by that promise they made each other. Luke sighed after a few seconds cos Ashton hadn't answered the door. He furrowed his brow and knocked again. _

_Still no answer._

_Luke went to go try for a third time but he noticed that the door was open a crack. Ashton hadn't shut it properly when Luke had left earlier. Slowly and gently, Luke pushed the door open, popping his head round the corner of the door to find the apartment empty. Clearly Ashton was still in though because everything was where he had left it and the TV was still on. "Ashton?" Luke called, walking in and shutting the door._

_He began to walk around the apartment slowly, looking in each room. He tried the kitche but nobody was there. He left the kitchen and tried the bathroom. All that was in the bathroom was a tap running that Ashton hadn't switched off properly. Luke walked over and turned it off. He turned around, having a nervous and uncomfortable look on his face._

_Luke exited the bathroom and looked over to the bedroom. He smiled smally, very smally, as he knew Ashton had probably gone for a nap as he did look quite tired earlier._

_He knocked on the bedroom door quietly before opening it. He popped his head around the door to find Ashton in a heap on the bed, sound asleep. He smiled a little more and walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed where he stroked his face gently. He felt cold. Probably due to the fact he hadn't gotten under the covers to sleep. Luke put his hand on Ashton's arm and shook him gently "Ashton..." Luke whispered. He didn't want to speak too loudly in case he woke up in a bad mood and cut through Luke like a knife._

_Ashton didn't wake up. Luke rolled his eyes. Obviously he's one of those heavy sleepers. He sighed, shaking him a bit more roughly "Ashton..." Luke said, a bit louder._

_Still nothing._

_Luke furrowed his brow "Ashton," Luke said, shaking him a bit harder and speaking normally. Still nothing. He shook him even harder "Wake up, Ashton. Wake up." Luke became panicked, making him become slightly more aggressive and upset. "Ashton wake up... Wake up!" Luke begged "As—" Luke stopped when something caught his eye._

_There was a piece of paper on the pillow next to him. He picked it up and read the opening sentence which was:_

_**I'd just like to say sorry to the person who finds this**_

_Luke started shaking his head, not daring to read on. He turned around to shout and shake Ashton as hard and as loud as he could but an empty bottle of pills on his bedside table caught Luke's eye and a picture of Ashton and Calum next to them. "No! ASHTON! WAKE UP! PLEASE!"_

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Ashton was gone.

Luke called an ambulance for help and when they got him to the hospital they tried everything they could to revive him but they got nothing. He truly was dead.

From the beginning when Luke met Ashton, all Ashton wanted and wished for was to be with Calum again.

And he got that wish after nearly a year of suffering.

Luke cried and cried cos Ashton was the one person who understood, to a certain extent, what he was going through and he made him happy – and Luke made Ashton happy too. Just obviously not enough.

Which proved Riker's lesson that he had been trying to teach all along:

"_It doesn't matter how much you help someone, there could be that much damage done to them that there's no way it can be fixed. All they need is reminding that they're loved and cared for by others. But then again, even that's not enough sometimes."_

* * *

**I'm so sorry. I guess this ending is kind of a "let the readers decide what happened next". Kinda like the ending of Going In Circles. **

**Anyway, thanks for reading this story :) It meant a lot.**

**Thoughts on Cashton (Calum &amp; Ashton)?**

**Thoughts on Niall &amp; what you saw of him? (I don't really watch One Direction but from little clips I've saw of him Niall seems like a really bubbly/funny person)**

**Thoughts on Brad?**

**Thoughts on Ross &amp; Luke's friendship?**

**Thoughts on Luke's situation he used to have? Did you guys think it was that?**

**Thoughts on the sort of relationship Luke &amp; Ashton had?**

**Thoughts on Luke?**

**Thoughts on Ashton?**

**Thoughts on Ross?**

**Thoughts on Ellington?**

**Thoughts on Riker?**

**Thoughts on the story even though there's not much chapters?**


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